She had a daughter and a cat when we first started to date. We eventually became a family and, of course, added to the excitement with a puppy. As time had gone on in our relationship, less things brought me joy. We eventually just became roommates instead of lovers. We were even incapable of agreeing on what to eat for dinner. This is when we both had to stop lying to ourselves.
Last week we didn't break up, we broke free. She gets to live how she wants with all of her own terms and forever changing conditions (daughter, cat and puppy included.). It won't be easy. I will miss them all, but I certainly won't miss feeling like I'm never doing anything right for them. More importantly, for myself. I can no longer walk around with a heart full of fear.
I don't have a typical view on life. "Nonsense makes the most sense", that's just how I see things. I love fishing, art, music, things built from stone, urban exploration, fighting, cooking, eating, laughing and fucking swearing. I'm great at being silly and having a cow. Life deserves to be discovered everyday. I had completely lost sight of that.
One thing is for sure, I've always found it easier to capture the attention of a crowd than of an individual. Which makes me believe that I'm not necessarily cut out for the typical relationship. I love just putting "it" out there for everyone. I'm not hung up on personal discretion. (Now I do believe, when two people confide in one another, discretion is imperative. That is altogether a different situation.) I want to shower the masses with words and thoughts; laughing and making love to everyone. Hopefully someone out there will be inspired to do something great because I reached them. I'm not intending to be selfish, but I need the whole world in my life. From the terror in the Middle East to the majesty of the Great Lakes... I want you all.
I know there's a lot of people out there that think they want to be in relationships. They suffer from long lonely nights, thinking about someone special with whom they could share their life. Well guess what... the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fucking fence. I'm glad I won't be spreading unhappiness around my house anymore. I will undoubtedly miss them, but they will have a better life without me. It's strange coming to that realization, but for the first time (in a long time) I'm looking forward to my future.
So here's to us discovering life, making mistakes, using our hearts and finding our way. We have only a short time allowed here on this planet and we all deserve to enjoy the experience.
-Scotty J ~ Sexy comes in all shapes and sizes, and shame on you if you don't believe it.
