Saturday, December 28, 2013

Saving Scotty Jacobs

In the last six months I found myself immobilized by depression's dark shadow. My goals and ambitions had faded away along with any self control. I am proud to say that I've finally got my ducks in a row, found my focus and I'm looking forward to my future - A new sales career to fund my long term goals of being a writer and entertainer. However being down and out has physically done its damage. One of my passions in life has always been food, but in difficult times it is my vice. The spell of depression has left me fat, winded and out of shape (more than normal!). I have always loved physical activity, but despised a fitness stupid is that? Wheelbarrow gravel up a huge hill, chop wood or play tennis all day - hell yeah I'm down for that. Lift weights, jog or do sit-ups for an hour...not a damn chance. Well, I am declaring it is time to make a serious change!
This quote reaches well beyond only "science" and "religion".
I am guilty of hating things about which I know very little. Exercise has always been one of them. I now realize it takes three simple things: drive, self-control and the willingness to feel better. Certainly, I have always had the time for physical activity and now I am going to utilize it. How many mornings have I had the chance to do some sit-ups or push-ups, but chose to eat two-and-a-half breakfasts sitting on my fat ass instead?? I have seen enough Law & Order SVU and NCIS marathons to last a lifetime; and though I love Benson and Stabler, as well as Gibbs and the gang; I can spare a few of those hours in front of the television for a trail run a few times a week. A couple of adjustments to my social agenda and I can spend more time with friends on a tennis court and less time in a drunken fog. It is not only these activities I plan to embrace, but to open my whole world up to new physical feats.
Damn these addictive shows with their clever formulas always sucking me in!!!!
There are so many things to do out there to keep my body in balance; fun adventures to be had everyday. When I was in middle school I spent countless hours exploring the woods and wetlands behind my house. I currently live five minutes away from the 50,000 acre Allegan State Game Area and look forward to bundling up for some snowy hikes. My good friend, Frankie Domino, is a "fitness machine" and wants to introduce me to kettlebell workouts (I have been passing up on this for over a year! ...I'm such a bonehead!). Boxing and other forms of hand-to-hand combat have always been very appealing to me, yet I have never taken a lesson. I'd say thirty and a half years of procrastinating has been enough, it's time to sign-up these dormant fists of fury. Now in my case, all of this activity is going to be great, but it will not be enough.
This is Ray Jackson. My favorite mythical fighter from the cinematic masterpiece known as Bloodsport.
Remember how I mentioned self-control earlier? I FUCKING LOVE FOOD. When I really think back, it's my "first love". When I was a little kid eating breakfast, I would always ask my mother about what we were going to have for lunch that day. It has always been something on my mind. When I socialize, I eat. When I am bored, I eat. When I celebrate, I eat. When I am depressed, I eat. I am also fascinated by food's origin, various styles of preparation, and the way cooking it affects all five senses. However, that would have never been the case if I didn't love eating food so much. I hope admitting to all of this here on Brass-Knuckle Love Butter will trigger my self-control and my accountability to all of my readers. 
This might actually be what my heart looks like, as of today.
I have to create healthier options to have readily available; breaking me away from homemade decadence and processed restaurant garbage. I also plan to avoid pop all together. The caffeine is a nice boost, but the pop makes me feel bloated and uncomfortable. I love the way it tastes and fizzes, but from now on I will only stick to coffee for a pick-me-up. For a while too, I will have to give up things like biscuits with sausage gravy, alfredo sauce, country fried steak and candy (some of my favorites!). I know it won't be easy for me, but I will make this work. My mind and motivation are in the right place and I am looking forward to feeling even better.
That's more like it!
My perspective of health and wellness have positively shifted. I have searched the depths of my soul for half of a year and came to many conclusions. One of them being that I must "live it up" in everything that I do. It is not just about being a better person, but also being a better human being. I owe it to myself to use this body the way it was supposed to be used. Since this is my one chance at life; I want my body to feel good while I'm using it up! It makes perfect fucking sense, doesn't it?!? I have been shown where to dig, what to dig for and now I must do the digging myself (which is so ironic, considering how much I actually love using a shovel.).
I'm not religious, but "Searchin'" by Matisyahu helped bring me some clarity. I suggest listening!

As of today, I am weighing in at 300 lbs...damn that's embarrassing! I have to confess this though, so I can be motivated by it. In 2007, I quit smoking cigarettes by telling the people (who suggested I should quit) the date I would be quitting and to hold me accountable to it. On August 19th, 2007 I smoked my last 46 cigarettes (yes, over 2 packs that day!) and since August 20th, 2007 I haven't even taken a puff of one. Please, hold me accountable. I apologize for being co-dependent here, but I could use everyone's help and encouragement. My goal is to lose no less than 60 lbs. I plan to write about my progress and keep everyone informed on the different physical activities I encounter. Anyone else that has been searching for this kind of motivation is more than welcome to embrace the essence of this prose. There is no better time to start than the present! Albert Einstein said it best, "There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Honestly, I think it's a miracle I finally feel this way and miracles are not to be wasted!

Scotty J. ~ "A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it!"