Saturday, July 13, 2013

The Lake Makes Me Wet

   "The Lake". Now, what comes to mind? Swimming. Fishing. Floating. Winning. Here in Michigan, it's a way of life. The term itself holds a special place in our hearts. We use it so casually and yet it means so much to us. "The Lake" offers us endless fun and relaxation. Usually leaving us wet and refreshed with a positive outlook on our lives. 
   My most memorable experiences in life revolve around The Lake. We lived in Dallas, TX when I was in elementary school. Natural lakes were hard to come-by in those parts. My mother is from Michigan, so we made a trip to 'The Mitten' every summer. My parents, older brother and I in the car for 20 hours. Laughing, farting and jamming out to the first 2 volumes of Cruisin' Classics on cassette tape. Talk about your ultimate pre-game session (Ooohhhhhh The Jacobs!). Upon arrival, we would change into our swim-suits at record-breaking speed. We would take to the water twice as fast, blazing a path to The Lake. We didn't need the world at the palm of our hands because we had the lake at our fingertips. Simply put... It was perfect. Eventually, we relocated to Michigan.
   Once we settled into our house, fishing became a weekly event. Dad would take us to my Grandfather's place less than an hour from home. When we got there, the fish always seemed to be waiting for us right at the end of the dock. Grandfather was a retired educator, therefore The Lake was his massive classroom that he shared with us. We learned how to appreciate The Lake over those years. He taught my Dad, brother and I that the best venue for bonding was The Lake. At that point in our lives, fishing became tradition. The Lake started to become OUR way of life. 
   Nowadays my folks have a cottage out in the country on a quiet and rustic lake. I've been fortunate enough to spend the last 6 weeks living here. I've been having a blast with friends and family when they've come to visit The Lake. Hell, I've been sitting lakeside the whole time I've been writing this blog.  I'm looking forward to the rest of my summer feeling inspired here on The Lake. To this very day, one look at the water still makes me feel like a rowdy-ass 8 year old kid. My heart can't help it. The Lake is my first love and I'll never get over her. However, Her and I are open to threesomes and the occasional "group" thing because she's beautiful like that. The Lake is never a selfish lover. In fact, I've got to go. She's calling me now.... and we hope to see you soooon!

Scotty J. ~ I hope I got you with this one. Hook, line and sinker.


Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Patriot Act

   Last week, here in America, we just had a birthday. I always look forward to Independence Day. The good American people love to celebrate. Most of us seem to celebrate the entire week. Spending our days fishing, golfing, exploring, playing horseshoes and barbecuing 'til nightfall. After soaking up the sun all day, we relax around the fire. Fireworks, s'mores and strong drink fuel our entertainment into the wee morning hours and we rejoice as patriotic Americans. I'm aware there are variations to celebrating, but I'm not getting into that.
   I mostly celebrated floating on a boat last week. Bourbon in my hand and the oddly enjoyable aroma of bottle rocket fog filled my nostrils. I had thought to myself, this is the most remarkable holiday we celebrate in this country. We put all of our petty shit aside for the meantime. We even make eye-contact, smile and have a long-forgotten respect towards our fellow Americans. Proudly acknowledging our common denominator and moving on with our celebration. I then wondered what kept us from being like this all year long?
   There's a part of the Declaration of Independence that reads like this...  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Did you read that? "...the pursuit of Happiness.". It's our duty, as American citizens, to find our happiness. Not share with others how we have such miserable lives. Misery is a fucking plague. Its toxic to our happiness and our existence.
   I'm sure when Thomas Jefferson and the gang were drafting the Declaration of Independence, they did not anticipate future Americans being heavily medicated. All feeling too fat, ugly and depressed to carryout their duty as American citizens. Damn, we're some vain assholes. The "Declaration" was so eloquently written. It has such a thoughtful tone toward respecting our fellow citizens' as individuals and human beings that vanity should have been a feeling long since forgotten in this great nation.
   The 56 courageous men that put this document together all made serious sacrifices to bring their shared vision to fruition. Some of them were even tortured and killed by the British. This is so we could float on our boats (cocktail in hand), be neighborly, respect one another's Americana, and pursue the things that make us happy as individuals. (This does not mean resort to Facebook posting "woe-is-me" statuses when your perception of self is weak and you want to blame everyone, but yourself for it. That is just being down right un-American. If you're considering making posts like that, I'd appreciate if you went ahead and renounced your citizenship, packed your shit up and moved elsewhere. You're just shitting on what a great way of life we're intended to live.)
   Come on Americans! We are better than being only part-time patriots. Let's take that mutual respect we all shared last week as proud Americans and maintain it. It is the foundation to our happiness. It trumps vanity and misery. In fact, it's the foundation to everything American. Our forefathers empowered us to believe in ourselves. How fuckin' cool is that?? Hey, thanks Tom, you guys rock!
   Now I'm sure what I just wrote here will ruffle some feathers. Well.....good. Some of you will say, "I have freedom of speech and I can say whatever I want." or "Fuck you, don't read my Facebook posts then." and that's fine by me. However, this is just my interpretation of our situation. It's an intentional kick in the ass to hopefully jump-start "the pursuit of Happiness" our forefathers expected of us. Don't just be grateful to be American, but show it to your fellow Americans. Spread the positives and abandon the negatives. Lead by example, it's up to all of us. This is our home and it's the greatest place on earth. I love it here. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH!

Scotty J. ~ "My favorite American is a proud American."

Here's a link to the Declaration of Independence. I thought we could all use a refresher: