Donate Your Love For Life - A Message From Matt Ramah

   There is nothing more breath-taking, in the human culture, than selflessness. A random act of kindness has the power to change not just a person's day, but their entire world. The intent is to reward someone who is unsuspecting, however the power of the action goes well beyond that. In most cases, the unsuspecting person goes on to pay it forward. It's rare when we get to witness something this incredible, but every single one of us is capable of creating the moment. This takes me back a few weeks ago, when a very dear friend called me with an update on life.

Seriously take the time to do this!

   My friendship with Matt Ramah goes all the way back to 1994; and has only grown stronger since the days of our youth. We've been there for each other, with a shameless confidence, in some of the best and worst moments that we've ever experienced. Therefore, I was not the slightest bit shocked when he told me he was in the process of becoming a kidney donor. He simply explained to me, that a friend (who is like family to him) had a close family member with fading health. He didn't have to go on... my heart was beating with his. He spoke from an amazingly humble perspective and I realized, at that very moment, he had grown into the man that many of us hope to become one day.
   In his everyday life, Matt Ramah is a medical adjuster living in Columbus, OH with his family. His beautiful wife, Alicia, is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met; and his six month old son, Elijah, has been practicing his soccer skills since he was in the womb. Raylan, their pit-bull mix, keeps the whole family laughing with her loving antics (and, of course, secretly runs the household.). I'm trying to get them to adopt me, but no luck yet... Thanks Raylan! Basically though, the Ramah family is badass.

Look at the center of attention there....

   Ramah and I wrote this piece together. Our goal is to put any worried or discouraged loved ones' hearts and minds at ease; and inspire others to explore themselves and give what they can truly live without. I asked him what attracted him to helping people and how he determined selflessness; his response was this:
   "I have had many selfish moments in life. More than I would like to count, but it's the selfless moments I find easier to recollect. It's the look on someone's face - when you take the time out of your day to be there for them because they are clearly in a place more difficult than you. Whether that's jump-starting a car, responding to an accident scene or volunteering at an animal or homeless shelter. It's a feeling that stays with you and helps you see the greater purpose in life. I don't see a determining factor in someone's selflessness. I think it's something that only the person doing the act can fully understand. We can't stop at every flat tire (metaphorically speaking) along the way, it just doesn't work like that. You will know when you passed up the golden opportunity to positively affect someone else's day. The key is to use that moment to recognize you had the opportunity; and commit to not passing it up the next time an opportunity arises."
   It just goes to show you how honest you have to be with yourself about your own character, in order to take selfless action. Do you stop and pull a large fallen tree limb to the side of the road, so that traffic doesn't have to swerve around it? Do you call the phone number on a stray dog's collar?? Do you give up your spot in line at the grocery store to someone behind you with less groceries??? These little gestures save lives, make families whole again and help people move on with their day in a positive fashion.
   "I am donating my kidney to one of my best friend's sister-in-law. Alicia and I are pretty close with most of their family. To be honest, I do not know the sister-in-law much at all, but it was the closeness with the entire family, including her husband, that led me to make this decision. 
   When I originally determined looking into being tested for a match, it was a very rash decision. Alicia noticed me taking a screenshot of the Facebook post (by the family in need) requesting anyone willing to check into this more. She made a comment about "seeing what I just did" and this kicked off the whole process. We have had excellent communication with each other along the way; educating ourselves to the max to ensure this decision we were making was going to be the right one. The decision to move forward with donating an organ was something that had to be made knowing that my family would not be affected in a negative way (This in no way was something that only I would decide.)."
   When he found he was actually a match for donation, a whole new set of challenges was in front of him. His honesty about what he was feeling gave me a warm and fuzzy sensation. Like we had just scored a touchdown to tie the game and there was still a lot of hard work to accomplish for the victory.
   "Finding out I was officially "the match" was a really shocking thing to hear. I think most people go into this situation expecting to hear - Thank you so much for the selfless consideration, but... - and I'll be honest, I really expected to hear the same thing. That doesn't detract from anyone that puts themselves in a position to be a potential donor, but man, the weight of it all doesn't really start to settle into place. That's until you get more finite information that you actually have a decision to make, in regards to moving forward with the donation or not. Alicia and I took every step of the process as a way for us to sit back, review where we were as a family and where this would take us. There never was a phone call that came in where I just said "yes" or "no" to something. It always revolved around them giving us time to make a rational decision. So when we found it was as official as it is going to be, we took the time to weigh out positives and negatives. And EVERY single time, the positives outweighed the negatives in a HUGE way."
   His attitude has always been humble about the kidney donation. He has been calculated in conversing with others about what he's doing because he didn't want things to "get crazy" early in the process. We all want to be supportive, but some of us might project our own worry that could negatively influence him. He let some of us who are closest to him know what was going on, so we could wrap our heads around it. He also needed us to be a voice for him through the process. Ramah wants to maintain his positive outlook through this journey and knows he can't connect with every single loved one, individually, prior to surgery. He had this message to share with everyone:
   "It is going to come out to everyone what I am doing and I am okay with that. I want people to know what I am doing, so they can look differently at situations in the future. I am in no way advocating that everyone should be willing to donate an organ. What I AM saying is to find the situations that are presented to you where you can make a difference in other people's lives. Don't immediately find a reason not to help. Sit back and think of your options. If your positives for helping someone else outweigh the negatives, why not give it a go? You will feel better about yourself and, believe me, the person that you help will be more grateful than you realize prior to helping them. I am not better than anyone for what I am doing, but I am an advocate to the idea of the positive impact a selfless decision can have on the world. A world that's dominated by negative headlines and the selfish acts of the celebrities that are idolized by the public eye."
   The opportunity to change somebody's world for the better came knocking on the Ramah's door. They graciously answered with their hearts full of love, which honestly guided their way through this decision. It's that love forged in their young growing family that builds confidence and easily manages their fears. Though it seems effortless from an outside perspective, I know they work hard to live genuinely happy.
   Prior to surgery, Ramah plans on doing things that will be off-limits during his six week recovery period. Most importantly, holding his son Elijah. He also plans to go out with some friends to wish his kidney "bon voyage" and feed it a few drinks. As he so enthusiastically shared, "because that guy is going on a journey!", and I certainly don't blame him!

CHEERS to you Brother!! "CONNIE.. GET ME ANOTHER GRAPE!"

   "After surgery it's quite simple, as well. My goal is to get through the next six weeks as quickly and safely as possible. This, so that on the last day of restriction I can pick up my son, load him in the car and drive him to the driving range - where I am going to swing a golf club for the first time since surgery (that the public will know about because a certain someone will get pretty upset if I push it!). Eventually, getting back into my workout regimen to continue training for my second "Tough Mudder" in September. Which I plan on completing faster than the previous year. In the long term, I should not see any effects of having one kidney, but I don't see that as entirely accurate. I believe this procedure will help me become healthier as a person because I will want to treat my remaining kidney with great care.
   In a different long term mindset, I want to use this experience to help guide people in directions that will help them and others. I want to be able to tell the story to Elijah; helping him grow as a man. A man that thinks of others and takes the opportunities (when presented to him) to help others out when they are in a tough situation themselves."
   Ramah's words speak for themselves, but his actions echo in all of us. There is no doubt that he has been faced with some of the most challenging decisions of his life. However, when the positives outweigh the negatives, there is no more room for excuses. He is proud of his family, he's dedicated to loving them unconditionally and he willingly accepts life with all of its challenges. He believes in living to our fullest potential and does this by example on a daily basis. Though I know he appreciates all of the thoughts and prayers for him; he definitely believes that kind of energy is better spent selflessly helping someone in need. Please be inspired.
   He would be quick to tell you that the recipient of his kidney is the real hero in this situation. For she is faced with ultimate vulnerability and was left to ask for help in the most difficult way possible. Her will to live inspires him and he knew that he would fight just the same as her, if in her situation. He also believes someone would help his family just the same. These are the types of friendships he instills. After next week they will be forever connected in life; not only by a kidney, but by a grateful appreciation for a selfless action. Both of them rewarded in the most amazing way possible.
   We plan to update you in the future and hope you're all making a positive difference, no matter how big or small. Ramah left me to wrap this up anyway I saw fit, so with that I leave everyone with a video from Talib Kweli....

Scotty J ~ "Life is a beautiful struggle."

 

Confessions, Thoughts and Observations of a 30 Year Old Man - Real Life Revelations of Scotty Jacobs

This is a compilation of my own randomness. I have said this before and I don't feel like I will ever abandon this philosophy, "Nonsense makes the most sense.". Others, have their own rigid lives. Everything is planned out and that works for them. To me, that seems very boring. Like, maybe it lacks a wholesome reward, emotionally and spiritually. My goals are less tangible and more focused on the experiences in life and the way it makes us feel. My Dad describes this as being "sensitive" and he's probably right. In a past life, I was one of "The Lost Boys". Today, my lifestyle choice would probably be diagnosed as "Peter Pan Syndrome". I don't blame Toys R Us for this occurrence (Remember? "I don't wanna grow up! I'm a Toys R Us kid..."). It's simply just me being me. I did not attempt to filter my thoughts and feelings today. I stayed true to myself, there is only raw emotion and personal beliefs. So let's go deep, take a glimpse into my soul, keep an open mind and read at your own risk...

• The thought of being skinny scares the shit out of me. My girth never limits my worth. 

• Really muscular women do not turn me on. I also hate Jillian Michaels. She is a lunatic. When she dies, she has a room reserved next to the furnace in hell. She IS the BIGGEST "Loser". 

Ruthless Bitch.

• Birthdays are my favorite holiday. Celebrate them always. 

Some of the best memories are made while celebrating someone great in our lives.

• When someone uses the term "Jew 'em down", it takes all of the energy inside of me to keep myself from ripping their lips off of their face. (Ignorance is bliss, if you like being a redneck schmuck.)

• Love is much bigger than any relationship.

• A dog really is man's best friend.

See what I mean? Actually, this might be more than friendship.

• All food items are acceptable at any meal. Any time of day, period.

There is no such thing as too much bacon.

• Mexican heritage, traditions and families have the most incredible dynamics. We should take a lesson.

• America worries about the safety and emotional well-being of its youths so much nowadays, that we will never let them grow up.
• I am going to pull a woman's hair while doing her doggy-style. I am not sorry about this.

• I love my Dad. He is one of the most amazing people I have ever known, yet I'm scared as fuck that I will end up just like him.

He is a handsome guy, it might not be so bad.

• I have always been able to rely on my fists when words could not come to my rescue.

There's a southpaw in the house, keep your guard up.

• A broken heart mends faster than shattered pride.

• Being scandalous is not for me. In fact, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. 

• When dogs squat to poop, they remind me of a kangaroo.

Striking resemblance!

• Bruce Lee made more of an impact on this world in his short 32 years than most men could make in a thousand lifetimes.

There is so much more! He was truly remarkable.

• Listen to R. Kelly, feel sexy and don't be afraid to get a little freaky from time to time.

"I don't see nothin' wroooong, with a little bit of bump 'n' griiiiiind.."

• I hate how much "work out clothes" cost. I mean...what the fuck? They're no different than pajamas, don't pay for that shit. It's not a fashion contest. (This has to be Jillian's doing...damn it.)

• Some people make excuses and point fingers. Others seek therapy. I smoke weed, take long walks and go fishing.

If you don't like this one, you can kiss my bass!

• Religious recruitment is a no no. Seriously. 

• Shaquille O'Neal is a tremendous role model. Just look at his life since he's been in the spotlight. Rick Reilly wrote about it in the year 2000 and his words still ring true.

(Click here to read "The Appeal of O'Neal" by Rick Reilly)

• The best hangover cure: Grab a shovel and keep digging a hole 'til the hangover is gone. Then, go eat a bacon cheeseburger. (You're welcome for this one.)

• Being drunk is no excuse for: having a shitty attitude, leading someone on, being brutally honest, cheating on a lover, picking a fight or sharing careless words. When the booze wears off, be responsible for your actions.

• Funerals make me cry. Not only from feeling a loss personally, but especially when I watch the people closest to the Departed.

I love your strength and never ending support, James. You're my brother...always.

• One of the most amazing transformations I have ever witnessed is a man becoming a father. Something I have yet to personally experience. Truly powerful.

Super Dad Status.

• Ignoring a woman pushes her right off the edge of sanity. 

• Mayonnaise. That's right.

• I have earned a fortune in friendships just by being myself. However, sometimes I am careless with this wealth. My best intentions aren't always good enough and that leaves me uneasy at times.

Nothing, but trouble.

• Everything worth while has a cost. Financial, physical and/or emotional. Never fear the expense.

• It makes my day to compliment a stranger. Hopefully it makes their day too.

• Football is a sport that I love and the media is fucking that up for me.

• True happiness can only be found within ourselves. It is not achieved by running errands and crossing things off of a checklist. Though doing so is satisfying, it really is moot in the grand scheme of life. 

• Did I mention mayonnaise? Let me be more specific, Hellman's Mayonnaise.

Brings out the best!

• Creative Expression. Aside from a random act of kindness, is the most admirable thing a human can do. Not only for themselves, but for those lucky enough to experience it.

It can happen anywhere, at any moment.

• In high school, I briefly dated a young woman my senior year. She still (to this day) makes me laugh, think and feel like only a handful of people in my life can do. I am grateful for her friendship. No matter the distance I will always have her back, regardless of the circumstances.

I promise she's classier than this when I'm not around her, but not by much...

• Heart and Soul will always have an upper hand to the Brain. To feel something is much greater than understanding it. An I.Q. is really just a number.

• I write "Believe in Yourself" on post-it notes and stick them in places where I can't miss them.

Perfect reminder.

• I have been provoked to the point where I have said a lot of nasty things to someone important in my life. Someone I loved very much. The next day, I felt awful. Alcohol poisoning would have been a walk in the park compared to this emotional hangover. Know yourself and don't let anyone else's actions make you forget who you are as a person.

This is EXACTLY what that feels like.

• I love the word "fuck" in all of its possible variations.

• The best time to awaken is just before dawn. I step outside to be in the moment when the sun is rising and the moon is setting. it is beyond euphoric. There is this genuine sense of hope and clarity. It feels like all of the world's problems could be solved in that very moment.

Good morning.

• I like hash browns, hashish, hashing out details and corned beef hash. I hate hash-tag, it's called a fucking "number sign". Thanks for ruining it Twitter...jerks. (I know it's here to stay. I am just having a rough time embracing this one.)

• A woman's imperfections are quite the contrary. I love when a woman is unique and different, it's sexy as hell.
• At the same time I'll admit, I have a weakness for cinnamon skin, dark espresso hair and dangerous curves. Honestly, who doesn't?

Can I have a sip of that?

• I love the ditch diggers, baggage handlers and burger flippers of the world. You're my kind of people.

• There is nothing more rewarding for me than writing. I've been doing it for myself since I was a kid. Only recently, I have found myself sharing it with the world. My focus is not only to stay inspired and be entertaining, but to be inspirational. Dreams do come true. Tell me about yours and hold nothing back. I will encourage you, look for answers with you and be by your side to overcome any fears or doubts about pursuing them. I am willing to be a stepping stone on your path to reaching your own dreams. (Even though I still believe you can do it on your own.) 

My life is a work in progress. These statements are merely a reflection of my current inner-self. At any given time they are subject to change. Moses certainly did not come down from Mt. Sinai with these carved in stone (However, I have seen a burning bush once. Please remember to always put out your cigarettes.). On the surface, there is no rhyme or reason to all of these. I haven't traveled the world over, but I have visited the hearts of many individuals (my own included.). It's there that I've witnessed indescribable beauty, darkness and misdirection, a higher purpose, sincerity, compassion, addiction, empathy, hate, sadness, the battle of good and evil, will power, fight or flight, comfort, fear, gains, losses, selfishness, selflessness, content, happiness, the "light" and most importantly, love (and that's my short list.). All aspects of human capabilities and emotions derive from the heart. It is our life force. When it stops beating, the rest of our body shuts down and life as we know it expires. This is not morbid, it's simply the truth. Live life to the fullest!


OCEANS by John Butler kept me inspired while writing this post. I was absolutely speechless the first time I watched this video. It's an acoustical journey like no other. His ragged jeans, his old beat up guitar and his amazing talent are perfect. I found myself smiling while I watched and listened. Please, enjoy!

OCEANS - John Butler - 2012 Studio Version

Scotty J ~ "My elders said shine your light on the world. Shine your light for the world to see." - Mos Def

To Whom It May Concern

This morning I woke up thinking about my future wife. Do I already know her? Nope, and I am not jumping to any conclusions about who she actually could be either. When we reach thirty years old and become single, we tend to get jaded about relationships. For those of you that know me well... This potential woman of my future will, undoubtedly, be the most understanding woman in the world. That, or I will just have one hardcore bitch of a Labrador Retriever named "Tumbles". Regardless, here is my parting love-letter to the fictional, future "Mrs. Scott Jacobs":

Dear Love,

   I knew it was meant to be the day our eyes met. There has always been something magical about the produce section at the market. If it weren't for the eggplant you fumbled onto the ground, we may have never even noticed one another.
   We both laughed as we knocked heads, trying to snag it off of the floor before anyone else noticed. I tried to apologize, but you grabbed my wrist while looking into my eyes and beat me to it. I didn't even hesitate after that, I asked you out for coffee. You obliged.
   Once our shared hatred for $5 coffee drinks came to light, we held nothing back. Stories of our past experiences in life consumed the next couple of hours. We talked about sunsets over the lake, friends that we had lost, and the "little things" that inspired us. I wouldn't trade that conversation for the universe. We were higher on each other than any drug could have ever taken us. You invited me over for dinner. I obliged.
   We walked up to your apartment, our hands clasped together. We kissed before you could even turn the key. To question that action would have surely meant this would not last, but we never looked back. Together we made dinner, took a long walk and let our hearts meet under the moonlight. Our heartbeats amplified with a warm embrace and spoke to us both that night.
   Love has no boundaries. And, as long as we've been together, neither did we. We've reached for the stars, swam with the dolphins, panned for gold, fed the homeless, got lost in the woods and played in the rain. There was nothing in our way. As we grew older, the world had changed. However, our love had not. It grew stronger and so had our bond.
   In our twilight years, we have had nothing to confess. Except for the fact that we have had no regrets. As I reached my departing hour, you were here by my side. Your hand on my wrist and your eyes locked on mine. Remember? It's just like the first time we met. We laughed like always and saved our tears for sadness, refusing lament. That very moment our souls lit up the sky. This love of ours is eternal and we'll meet again soon. We have shared our last "I love you", but we could never say "goodbye".

We are the dream that came true.

Always and Forever,
Scott

p.s. I always loved that you kept the name "Aniston". Oh and don't forget to give Tumbles a belly rub after her walk, she's crazy about it!
 

Doggy-style

   For the last couple of months I've had the joy of bunking with Bailey. She's my yellow Labrador. I got her for the holidays during my junior year of high school. She's just shy of 14 years old now. That's damn near ancient in dog years. Her sight isn't what it used to be and her breathing is rough. Yet, she still wakes up every morning happily wagging her tail with a smile on her face.

   She's always been with my folks for all of these years. Her days have been spent eating fancy cheeses and dry aged meats with Mom and Dad. Living the high life, traveling back and forth between their townhouse and the cottage. It's safe to say, she could make a spoiled dog jealous.
   A dog's companionship is insurmountable, even to the heartbreak we face at the end of their short life. They say a dog is the only animal that loves you more than it loves itself. In my experience, this couldn't be more true. Dogs want to please and be shown affection. They want to be a part of your "everyday" and are always sad to see you leave the house (I always tell Bailey, "Don't worry, I'll be back in just a little bit," and then she'll lay her head down. Showing her disapproval of my departure without her company.). I'm sure you know what I mean.
   A dog's sense of adventure is what I think is its most admirable quality. Every moment of everyday is an adventure, no matter how strict of a routine. Just the daily rounds of incessantly sniffing the yard and marking their territory never loses its excitement. They make us proud for being so dedicated to our homes. Some dogs are so adventurous they even eat their own poop. It's completely gross and they're aware of how taboo it is for us humans to witness (Bailey does this too. She always trots away with her tail between her legs, but licks her chops so proudly at the same time. BAD BAILEY!!). Really though, think about it. A dog's life is so awesome, she will happily and willingly eat her own poop when she has plenty of other options on which to snack.
   I hate admitting this, but Bailey's days are numbered. She can hardly breathe when she's overly excited and her stiff hips make it difficult to stay mobile for too long. The cottage is the perfect place for her to live out her days. These last couple of months, for me, would have been much more difficult if my parents had not left her to keep an eye on me. Her and I have gone fishing, moonlit booze cruising, watered the flowers and occasionally shuffled over to the neighbors just to say "hey". We both wake ourselves up when we snore and we love eating a midnight snack. This morning we split a New York strip at breakfast (I know what you're thinking... "Spoiled Bitch".). I'm going to miss my buddy when she's gone and I'm grateful for all of the time we've spent together this summer.
   Dog is man's best friend. Bailey is most definitely mine. Earlier, I wrote about a dog's sense of adventure being its most admirable quality. Well, now that I think about it; their ability to make humans happy is most admirable. All of our secrets are safe with our dog, food dropped never goes to waste, and we dream freely knowing our dog is here to protect us from "the things that go 'bump' in the night".
   Bailey and I would love it, if you would do us a favor when you get home to your pooch today. Throw a couple chunks of cheese in their supper from us and thank them for always being there through the good and the bad. If there's one animal that deserves to live forever, it's our pups. Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-yay!

Scotty J. & Bailey ~ We'd both do just about anything for some damn good cheese.