The Gales of November Came Early

Last month I traveled with my girlfriend to Chicago. While she worked at her office in Ravenswood I took the liberty of meandering my way downtown and checking into our hotel. I was tired and needed a nap, but the Windy City was stirring and I just had to immerse myself in it. After a lengthy walk and a salty snack, I needed a toke and casually strolled back toward the hotel.

During my pursuit for a discrete location to "partake" I came across this perfectly nestled courtyard. It was a beautiful hardscape with a massive trellis built out of timbers. The stone planters had hard angles and a checkerboard symmetry to their placement. Their flamboyant green and pink foliage had a majestic vibe among all of the concrete in the city. The shadows from the trellis seemed to be perfectly painted on the solid ground. I looked around and counted..1..2..3..4..5 bums sleeping in the late summer sun.
Not really sure of what my immediate future plans were, I opted to join these bottom-feeders. With my bag as my pillow, I slept for a bit and dreamed of nothing. When I awoke, I looked around and realized that my new acquaintances had not dreamed in years. They stalk the night diving in dumpsters and living off of the scraps of others. It's a lifestyle so grueling they shamelessly sleep it off surrounded by the loudness of traffic, construction and sirens.
Who were these guys? Had their whole lives been on the streets? I thought maybe one of them was a washed-up stock broker who (at one point) had everything he could have imagined. Then after some sort of tragedy he realized all of the things he had were truly nothing. That's when self-actualization set in and he slipped through the cracks. Regardless, all of these guys were fast asleep and I certainly wasn't going to interrupt their much needed rest before another night of urban foraging just to get their story. I slipped my arms through the straps on my backpack and carried on with my adventure.

I don't know why, but as I reflect on this today it came to me that these guys made a gallant abomination of the status-quo. Who am I to refer to these guys as "bottom-feeders"?? At that very moment in their lives that was their destiny. Just as mine was to lay among them then, realize that today and write about it now. Perhaps one of those guys in the courtyard had achieved an incredible level of enlightenment that I may never reach in a thousand lifetimes. They had not given up, these men weren't dead. They were genuine survivors and now I find myself admiring them.
The day we're born we start to die and that's the truth. We live in this society that is obsessed with prolonging our mortality (if we can afford it) and then wonder why we can't find happiness. Abraham Lincoln said, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.". There is no fucking point in living longer just to be miserable longer. We actually have the audacity to find a way to be offended by anything and people band together in this sad prideful hatred of the human essence.

It's amazing what you can find under the tracks. - Lincoln Square - Chicago, IL

I love street art because it defies the bullshit to which we're regularly subjected. We are all too shamefully influenced by the diabolical "mad men" of the world with their toxic slogans and fictitious imagery. Everywhere we look there's a creative reference to someone being more productive than ourselves. We try to ignore it all (or at least pretend), but to our avail it catches up with us from time to time. Hence me writing all of this.
Brass-Knuckle Love Butter. RAWdio Podcast. Producers United. Interestingly Human. These are the four projects to which I creatively contribute and channel my soul. In fact, Producers United is the only website that's really all put together with regularly updated content. It also happens to be the only project for which I am NOT the administrator. I know that intention is meaningless without action. I'm not doubting my ability to achieve my heart's desires, I'm just calling myself out right now. Holding back is starting to make me feel sickly and gross. It's like the world's cruelest form of suicide and I think most of us are suffering from it in one form or another.
Thanks to my friends in the courtyard, I realized we all have an unfathomable durability as humans. Though death is always out there lurking in so many forms, we can still live through so many unimaginable circumstances. We are all destined for something and it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks of it. Maybe mine is leading a renaissance of new age creators with old souls. Better yet, maybe it's helping people listen to their hearts. Who knows?? It could be creating a jankie knock-off version of Mr. Potato Head called Dr. Pineapple Face or perhaps it will just be impoverished squalor. Hell it could be all of the above, but that's neither here nor there.
Luck, circumstance and timing come and go like the wind. Sometimes it's at our backs helping push us along; other times it's right in our face pushing against us; and occasionally it's just stagnant, nowhere to be found. We have to remind ourselves to put into life what makes us feel alive. See, each day we are living our destiny. It transcends through our experiences, our actions and even our intentions. Destiny isn't something we choose, chase or avoid. It's constantly molding throughout our lifetime. It's a part of us...always.


Scotty J ~

              

     

Days To Come

I have been noticing a lot of divorces and break-ups lately. These tend to be rough moments in our lives when we do silly things like make cryptic Facebook posts, have pity parties for ourselves and talk out of our asses way more than normal. Love is a tricky emotion because when it fails, it's counterpart is hate. It's hard to let go of something that had us emotionally invested, we carry-on with the hate when the love is gone. In most cases we feel like we lived for this person and without them, we are nobody. Our lack of identity leaves us feeling empty, hollow and lost. I know...I know... break-ups fucking suck, so here's a little unsolicited advice from a fellow survivor...

Don't hate them for this.

Live through it, to the best of your abilities. Be wounded and vulnerable. Try your very best to not project these emotions, but rather experience them. Learn and let your soul grow. It's not about recovering the person you once were, but living as the person you are today. I assure you it's not selfish to focus on yourself, especially at a time when you need it most. Explore the darkness.
Leave your pride in the burning wreckage of your relationship and be humbled. The world will always be yours even when you're not sharing it with someone else. Admire the little things, always. A perfect cup of coffee, a flourishing herb garden, the sound of rain on a tin roof, the aroma of fresh-baked banana bread, puppies, hugs, sunsets, good music and holding the door open for a stranger are among the countless "little things" that truly deserve your attention.
You must embrace your lows as much as you celebrate your highs. These positive and negative experiences are the foundation to how you relate to other human beings. Minimize your social life during the low moments because the energy you transfer to friends and loved ones will eventually become toxic. Forgive yourself for detaching and know that it's for the sake of preservation. Genuine friends will understand this much better (rather than dumb drunken tirades about your ex-lover...), trust me.
In fact, getting drunk while emotionally bottomed-out is extremely counterproductive. There is no sense in feeling depressed and attempting to drown it with a depressant. This can easily push good people out of your life, but for some reason the booze won't let you see that. You actually have the drunken nerve to resent them for keeping their distance. Find a way to appreciate the space they've given you to explore yourself. Remember, nobody else can make you feel better more than yourself!!
If you focus only on the fact that your pride is broken, your heart will never heal. Don't worry about what you did or didn't deserve in your last relationship, it's over. One of the greatest feelings in the world is falling in love. You haven't realized it yet, but you get this fucking amazing opportunity to feel those highs again. Maybe with someone who feels them the same way you do (even if they aren't the person you're going to grow with for the rest of your life.). Let the love you share teach you about yourself, fulfill your life and shine the light on your destiny.

Love unfiltered.

 
One thing is for certain, the love we share is the best part of who we all are.

Scotty J ~ Spread the Love Butter!!
                                                                                                                                                                   

Saving Scotty Jacobs - Magically Delicious

It has been quite a while since writing one of these posts. Hot sunny days and a beautiful woman have been getting my full attention... and I'm not even close to sorry about it!! My goal for the immediate future is finding balance among the things that truly make me happy. Recently, I came across a book I used to keep on my nightstand in high school. I smiled when I held it in my hands and fanned through the pages. I stopped on this chapter here and thought I should share it with everyone:

I have no magic power; I make Personality my Magic Power.

The Samurai is acutely conscious of human dynamics. He knows that events turn on the personalities of those involved in any situation - and that each personality brings new chemistry to the mix.
All of us come to the table with individual agendas. It can take a long time of sifting through the social masks that people present to get a true picture of their intentions. We are all masters of hiding who we are in order to leverage a position in life. We are all actors, behaving as we imagine others expect to secure our place in the order of things. Personality as we know of it is a grab bag of facial expressions, stitched up with predictable words we think everyone wants to hear. Most of us are trained to build a personality that will somehow get us what we want, however great or humble our desires.
Part of this "training" is the honing of a personality that we present to the world, so that others might see us as unique or , at the very least, un-threatening. Relationships are often built upon the illusion of personalities that are mere shadows of who we really are. People rarely know one another at a level deeper than their shadow selves. This is why so many relationships dissolve over sudden, insignificant events. There can be no substance of truth between masks or shadows.
So what is this "magnetic power" of Personality? And how does the Samurai employ it to achieve his aim? Is it the same old game, played the way we are taught to play?
It is simple: The Samurai does not script his actions according to his own, or others', conventional expectations. He releases his natural eloquence in the plainest of terms. His eyes speak for his mouth, his mouth speaks for his heart. His mind is present, attentive, in tune with his ethical integrity. He does not manipulate with words. Whatever he needs to say flows from unaffected sincerity and simple self-knowledge. This is genuine Personality, unblemished by greed, fear, or opportunism.
A Samurai's Magic Power is the unforced charisma of a person without guile. This kind of person honors daily life by serving as an integral part of it. His presence alone exposes fakery and posturing, which are more likely sorcery than magic. He knows that magic flows naturally through anyone who does not build their own impediments to the truth.

(*This is an excerpt from One Flash of Lightning, A Samurai Path for Living in the Moment by Stephanie JT Russell.)

Personality is the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character. Some of our traits we inherit, others we develop from our life's experiences. Personality is the dish we bring to the potluck of life - some people will get down on it, while others may choose to pass on it altogether. We are all an acquired taste and our deliciousness is as unique as our individuality.
The most important statement from the above excerpt is the last sentence - "He knows that magic flows naturally through anyone who does not build their own impediments to the truth.". Saving Scotty Jacobs posts started over six months ago and they are my testimony to a happier healthier existence. I asked all of you to hold me accountable to help keep me honest with myself. Needless to say, it has been an incredible journey thus far.
Matt Powell's Hardstyle Kettlbell training over the winter awakened my potential. Aside from physically getting stronger, I found true inner-strength using his simple yet sinister techniques. His philosophies - "no wasted repetition" and "try anything once" - empowered my confidence. I have never felt more alive and been more in love with this adventure called - life. Lately my physical training has taken a backseat, but the physical demands of farming still have me growing stronger. The same fundamentals Powell taught me with the kettlebell apply perfectly to working the fields.

I measure success with a happy heart and I have to say... life is pretty fucking awesome. I've learned that I only seem to find boundaries when I'm suffering from a lack of passion. In the past I've spent too much time doing what I thought was right, instead of listening to my heart. When I finally ran out of excuses, I looked around and the only thing I had left was my personality. Well, guess what?? That's when the magic revealed itself and I finally set myself free from the rest of the world's expectations.

My sense of humor, sense of adventure and sense of self have become my foundation for a rewarding life. In fact, maybe they always were anyway and it took me a long while to finally realize it. Regardless, writing about my journey has brought a lot of incredible people into my life. I have friends around the world checking in and showing their support. Others have confessed they want to make a change for themselves and embrace the depths of their own capabilities. Occasionally there's even a naysayer or two projecting negativity, unaware of their own incredible potential. Nonetheless, they're all a part of my inspiration and that's a huge part of the magic in my personality. I always appreciate the energy it takes to truly share a part of yourself.

Honestly I'm no Samurai. I'm just a goofy lovable guy raised by amazingly patient parents, both with a "magic" of their own. Take all of those things that come with being their son, all of my experiences that I've learned from along the way and here I am. Most of my days are spent coaxing a smile from friends and strangers alike because I love to laugh with people. Living perfectly, to me, is knowing what you're living for... and for me it's love and the great adventure. Thank you everyone for the love, support, encouragement and general badass-ness you've shared with me since starting all of this. This goes without saying, but you're all a huge part of what defines me today.

If life were actually a potluck and we were all just food on the table, I wonder what we would all be? I think I could be a corned beef or maybe a platter of sliders. Ohhh I know... I could be Honey-Nut Cheerios and milk, so you'd get to eat me up and drink me down!! You know you love the Honey-Nut!! Really though, I'm probably the hot artichoke dip you shouldn't eat too much of, but you put on everything anyway. Mmmm. From canned tuna to caramel cashew ice-cream, it really doesn't matter, we're all magically delicious... we just have to show up to the party!!!

Scotty J ~ A special thanks to my friend Adam Marks for always posting inspirational memes to keep the world inspired. You've got the magic, my friend. ABRA-CADABRA!!!


       

WE ARE VERY LUCKY

   I rose up out of my slumber this morning to an email from a very close friend. The subject line was blank and in it he simply wrote, "This changed me for the better. Check it out.", with a link to this awesome video (please watch before proceeding):

   That was, without a doubt, extremely fucking powerful. Asher Roth is a hip-hop artist out of Philly sharing this incredible message - WE ARE VERY LUCKY. We walk around this modern world and tend to forget this. We forget to feel the breath in our lungs and the hearts in our chests; we forget to feel alive; and we forget about everyone else who forgets about this too. Our everyday struggles are so small compared to the fact that we actually HAVE the life itself, to live each day. Like the song says though, "Someone's always caught up in the fast life.".
   My friend who sent me this faces that challenge regularly. He's a true family man. His gorgeous wife loves him unconditionally and the two of them have the absolute best behaved children on the planet. Everyone that comes into their home gets treated like family because they simply wouldn't have it any other way. However, something deep rooted in his past (well before starting his own family) haunts him every moment of everyday.
   Once his family gets to bed, he's left alone with his guilty conscience. He loses himself in the darkness, suppressing it with booze and cocaine. As the night turns to dawn; his guilt becomes regret and his self-value drops through the floor. It's followed up with a wicked hangover and severe anxiety for a couple of days. THIS is being caught up in the fast life. It has been going on for years now and he's finally reached a breaking point.

FRIENDSHIP.

   We've been friends since we were kids and confidants in all sorts of matters over the years. Honestly, he has helped lift some of the heaviest stones off of my chest. I know all about his gloomy past and self-deprecating actions. At times, I've felt like a shitty helpless friend. About a month ago, he wrote me one of the most compelling and passionate confessions. He felt as is if he's been living a lie. It was about his guilt for the past, remorse for the present, his fear for the future and his love for everyone involved. He wants life to be better and admitted he did not know where to start. Though he didn't see it, this open self-awareness has become the foundation for setting his goal.
  Change like this does not happen over night. Fully adapting to a new perspective takes its time and old habits die HARD. We've had some extremely moving and positive conversations since then, but last week he found himself hanging out in the darkness again. The booze, cocaine, depression and anxiety rolled through like a freight train. He wrote me a letter second guessing his new direction, feeling guilty about even trying to change. His brutal honesty filled my heart.
  Like me, all of his emotions are fueled with passion. We both have an obsession with music, humor and people's drive to be creative. I made sure to relay that in my response and I reminded him that I would never love him any less for being himself. Then I joked about him calling me a "hippy", sent him a link to a song and asked him to listen. I told him to listen to it a million times, if that's what it took to get the lyrics to sink into his heart. I myself didn't have the words, but I refused to leave him hanging. This song describes such a willingness to seek the life you want. Have a listen..

   We all have a choice to hold onto what makes us strong and let go of what makes us weak. We need to learn from our experiences and let go of the past. This is my friend's daily battle and he has to be the warrior that overcomes it. And I will always fight my own battles right along side of him, as a reminder that he's not alone. Brothers-in-arms fighting the good fight; both on a search for our honest selves. The more truth we reveal, the better men we become.
   This morning the music revealed to him an absolute truth - WE ARE VERY LUCKY - to have lived through what could have easily killed us. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - for the love from our families. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - for knowing we want to change for the better. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - for caring about and sharing the things that mean the most. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - that it makes us smile to make someone else smile. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - to have a friendship like this, regardless of our demons.

WE ARE VERY LUCKY FOR TODAY!!

Scotty J ~ "It doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine." - Common

Listen to "The Fast Life" by Asher Roth here!!
 
 
 

  

Passionate Cave-man Seeks Dancing Cave-woman

   There is something really special about waking up with a smile, getting stoned while a fresh pot of coffee brews and cranking up the music loud enough for the birds to enjoy. This usually encourages me to sing at the top of my lungs (occasionally free-styling) and move wildly about the cottage (otherwise known as dancing). Honestly... I do this with every ounce of passion in my body. I consider things like this "strength-building" for my soul.

   I don't want to get into a debate about smoking weed, having too much caffeine or not being able to turn up the music, so others can sleep. I'm saying do whatever it is that lets you let it all hang out there. Humans have been beating on drums and dancing naked around fires probably ever since we started walking upright. When we hear a song we love, we feel it in our bones. Everything we know about the modern world just vanishes and the music plays right through us, literally. Yes, even "twerkin'" counts.
   It was nice to wake up this way because I've been fighting a strange emptiness this week. Life is definitely good, but this has been a different kind of primal feeling. I yearn for the company of a lover. A feminine touch, if you will. Where our physical connection would cast us off to our dreams every night and jump-start our human confidence every morning. I mean this in the most unselfish way possible; she has to want it for those very same reasons. We don't have to start a family or save a million dollars, we just have to make love. As our lives unfold, our love will be there to iron out the creases.
   My belief is that if two people share the primary goal to start and finish everyday making love to each other; they will not fail in life. The laws of attraction still apply, but their commitment to primitively expressing themselves has no allowance for modern-day complications. All other things become second to the passion they share together.

I gave her that bone (yeah, I said it.).

   I know there are a lot of you out there thinking, "What?!? It's not really that simple. Scotty has his head up way up his ass... again!", and that's okay!! You don't have to dance or have sex with me, we can still be friends. However, I do believe there are other people out there that share this visceral outlook on survival. Being human comes before a nationality, an occupation or an affiliation of any kind. We're prehistoric DAMNIT!! That means we knew how to live before we knew ANYTHING!!!
   The primitive passions rooted in music and sex are inside all of us. It's just naturally a part of the human existence. I appreciate those examples others have set out there for me to believe in this. Sometimes we settle on comfort and not passion to guide us through life (which I'm definitely guilty of in my past and I know some of you are too!), but we don't have to remain that way. Life will always have the most reward if we stay true to ourselves about how we see fit to live it.
   So, in the meantime... the birds and I are just going to keep on moving to the music, strengthening our souls. The woman of my future is out there just beyond the horizon, doing a dance of her own. When the two of us eventually meet, our passions will intertwine and we'll only do what comes natural. We'll settle for nothing less!! So all of you reading, please do me this favor... put on this fifteen minute long song, stop thinking too much and dance like nobody's watching...

Scotty J. ~ "Something about the music, it got into my pants."

My kind of woman.

Saving Scotty Jacobs - An Honest Update

   Last Friday, I wrote and completed an entire post titled Saving Scotty Jacobs - Humble Pie. After I proof-read it a couple of times through, I hated everything about it. My heart was in the right place while I was writing it, but the title Eat My Righteous Shit-Sandwich would have been more suitable. My intention was not to be an arrogant prick, yet I certainly nailed the tone. It really took the wind out of my sails and I chose not to post it.
   After spending a creative weekend in Kalamazoo (putting the disappointment of "Humble Pie" behind me), I came home late Sunday evening to a house with no heat and an outside temperature of twelve degrees. I immediately thought of all of my rants about how we needed to embrace this difficult winter and laughed. While reflecting, I put on two more pairs of socks and triple layered the rest of my body. When I finally got comfortable in my 7 blanket nest, I thought maybe I could relax and just accept this slice of humble-pie. Instead, I felt like a penguin eating a frozen shit-sandwich. IT.WAS.COLD.

This doesn't smell like humble pie....

   The cold might have been uncomfortable, but I think the worst form of torture is when we hide from ourselves. Hence, my confession. Most things in life are much easier said than done, so we usually just say something and settle for that being good enough. THAT is hiding; and I know this because I hid from myself (behind all sorts of things) for over a decade. These Saving Scotty Jacobs posts have effectively kept my actions honest and accountable. It's the "honesty" that I hope inspires others to take action for themselves. We all have our own starting points and tempos. It's not a race!!
   Yesterday marked my 77th day of living a better life. I've successfully kept pop and fast-food out of my body, I am still training in "hardstyle" kettlebells and I've lost 51 lbs. This makes me 9 lbs away from my original goal of losing 60 lbs! I feel strong, motivated and alive. I really kind of feel like I could smash through a wall.. in a good way. I've actually reached the point where it's time to upgrade to a heavier kettlebell and set some new short-term goals. This all happened so fast, I really am excited to see where it leads me next!! Progress feels amazing!!
   In all honesty, this whole setting and accomplishing goals thing is uncharted waters for me. I've done a lot of hard work (and even harder play) with little reward before now; and I know that's because I had a poor approach to life. I have learned that I must continually challenge myself in order to reach new goals and gain new perspectives. Just like training, LIFE is progressive. Even though it may not seem like it some days, the direction is always my choice.

   Today, I start a brand new adventure with the good people at Fat Blossom Farm. They are a local organic farm right here in West Michigan and I really couldn't be more excited!! This is a lifestyle change I have thought about embracing for years and can't wait to learn more about it. The opportunity to work with the earth, sow seeds and genuinely experience the fruits of my labor makes my soul smile. I can't wait to get my hands dirty and meet a few like-minded people along the way.
   I really don't feel like it was even a decision to work at a farm, but maybe more of a calling to the farm. My heart has not loved coming to work with me in the last few years and that's made life difficult. I hate consumerism and greed. I hate that I've given into both of them, even more. I was selling lawn-care earlier this year and had to walk away from it to follow my heart. There are a lot more important things in this world than green grass in August heat, trust me. I had settled on that job for all of the wrong reasons and probably would have stayed there (and in limbo) if I didn't have the support from all of you.

Observation can be inspiring, if we let it!!

   A new friend of mine had said to me the other day, "Conviction defines people.", and that simple statement blew my mind. Some of you know, I always keep a post-it note on my keyboard that reads, "Believe In Yourself!", and it's for that same reason. It's a reminder to never compromise who I am, to trust my instincts and to learn from my experiences (which learning can be quite a process at times...). We all have our own code or formula to living successfully and that makes us all very unique. For me... The past is my foundation, experience is my education, passion is my motivation, love is my reward and the world is my playground!!

...and the world is yours!

Scotty J ~ "This humble-pie tastes like a shit-sandwich."

 
 
 
 

Donate Your Love For Life - A Message From Matt Ramah

   There is nothing more breath-taking, in the human culture, than selflessness. A random act of kindness has the power to change not just a person's day, but their entire world. The intent is to reward someone who is unsuspecting, however the power of the action goes well beyond that. In most cases, the unsuspecting person goes on to pay it forward. It's rare when we get to witness something this incredible, but every single one of us is capable of creating the moment. This takes me back a few weeks ago, when a very dear friend called me with an update on life.

Seriously take the time to do this!

   My friendship with Matt Ramah goes all the way back to 1994; and has only grown stronger since the days of our youth. We've been there for each other, with a shameless confidence, in some of the best and worst moments that we've ever experienced. Therefore, I was not the slightest bit shocked when he told me he was in the process of becoming a kidney donor. He simply explained to me, that a friend (who is like family to him) had a close family member with fading health. He didn't have to go on... my heart was beating with his. He spoke from an amazingly humble perspective and I realized, at that very moment, he had grown into the man that many of us hope to become one day.
   In his everyday life, Matt Ramah is a medical adjuster living in Columbus, OH with his family. His beautiful wife, Alicia, is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met; and his six month old son, Elijah, has been practicing his soccer skills since he was in the womb. Raylan, their pit-bull mix, keeps the whole family laughing with her loving antics (and, of course, secretly runs the household.). I'm trying to get them to adopt me, but no luck yet... Thanks Raylan! Basically though, the Ramah family is badass.

Look at the center of attention there....

   Ramah and I wrote this piece together. Our goal is to put any worried or discouraged loved ones' hearts and minds at ease; and inspire others to explore themselves and give what they can truly live without. I asked him what attracted him to helping people and how he determined selflessness; his response was this:
   "I have had many selfish moments in life. More than I would like to count, but it's the selfless moments I find easier to recollect. It's the look on someone's face - when you take the time out of your day to be there for them because they are clearly in a place more difficult than you. Whether that's jump-starting a car, responding to an accident scene or volunteering at an animal or homeless shelter. It's a feeling that stays with you and helps you see the greater purpose in life. I don't see a determining factor in someone's selflessness. I think it's something that only the person doing the act can fully understand. We can't stop at every flat tire (metaphorically speaking) along the way, it just doesn't work like that. You will know when you passed up the golden opportunity to positively affect someone else's day. The key is to use that moment to recognize you had the opportunity; and commit to not passing it up the next time an opportunity arises."
   It just goes to show you how honest you have to be with yourself about your own character, in order to take selfless action. Do you stop and pull a large fallen tree limb to the side of the road, so that traffic doesn't have to swerve around it? Do you call the phone number on a stray dog's collar?? Do you give up your spot in line at the grocery store to someone behind you with less groceries??? These little gestures save lives, make families whole again and help people move on with their day in a positive fashion.
   "I am donating my kidney to one of my best friend's sister-in-law. Alicia and I are pretty close with most of their family. To be honest, I do not know the sister-in-law much at all, but it was the closeness with the entire family, including her husband, that led me to make this decision. 
   When I originally determined looking into being tested for a match, it was a very rash decision. Alicia noticed me taking a screenshot of the Facebook post (by the family in need) requesting anyone willing to check into this more. She made a comment about "seeing what I just did" and this kicked off the whole process. We have had excellent communication with each other along the way; educating ourselves to the max to ensure this decision we were making was going to be the right one. The decision to move forward with donating an organ was something that had to be made knowing that my family would not be affected in a negative way (This in no way was something that only I would decide.)."
   When he found he was actually a match for donation, a whole new set of challenges was in front of him. His honesty about what he was feeling gave me a warm and fuzzy sensation. Like we had just scored a touchdown to tie the game and there was still a lot of hard work to accomplish for the victory.
   "Finding out I was officially "the match" was a really shocking thing to hear. I think most people go into this situation expecting to hear - Thank you so much for the selfless consideration, but... - and I'll be honest, I really expected to hear the same thing. That doesn't detract from anyone that puts themselves in a position to be a potential donor, but man, the weight of it all doesn't really start to settle into place. That's until you get more finite information that you actually have a decision to make, in regards to moving forward with the donation or not. Alicia and I took every step of the process as a way for us to sit back, review where we were as a family and where this would take us. There never was a phone call that came in where I just said "yes" or "no" to something. It always revolved around them giving us time to make a rational decision. So when we found it was as official as it is going to be, we took the time to weigh out positives and negatives. And EVERY single time, the positives outweighed the negatives in a HUGE way."
   His attitude has always been humble about the kidney donation. He has been calculated in conversing with others about what he's doing because he didn't want things to "get crazy" early in the process. We all want to be supportive, but some of us might project our own worry that could negatively influence him. He let some of us who are closest to him know what was going on, so we could wrap our heads around it. He also needed us to be a voice for him through the process. Ramah wants to maintain his positive outlook through this journey and knows he can't connect with every single loved one, individually, prior to surgery. He had this message to share with everyone:
   "It is going to come out to everyone what I am doing and I am okay with that. I want people to know what I am doing, so they can look differently at situations in the future. I am in no way advocating that everyone should be willing to donate an organ. What I AM saying is to find the situations that are presented to you where you can make a difference in other people's lives. Don't immediately find a reason not to help. Sit back and think of your options. If your positives for helping someone else outweigh the negatives, why not give it a go? You will feel better about yourself and, believe me, the person that you help will be more grateful than you realize prior to helping them. I am not better than anyone for what I am doing, but I am an advocate to the idea of the positive impact a selfless decision can have on the world. A world that's dominated by negative headlines and the selfish acts of the celebrities that are idolized by the public eye."
   The opportunity to change somebody's world for the better came knocking on the Ramah's door. They graciously answered with their hearts full of love, which honestly guided their way through this decision. It's that love forged in their young growing family that builds confidence and easily manages their fears. Though it seems effortless from an outside perspective, I know they work hard to live genuinely happy.
   Prior to surgery, Ramah plans on doing things that will be off-limits during his six week recovery period. Most importantly, holding his son Elijah. He also plans to go out with some friends to wish his kidney "bon voyage" and feed it a few drinks. As he so enthusiastically shared, "because that guy is going on a journey!", and I certainly don't blame him!

CHEERS to you Brother!! "CONNIE.. GET ME ANOTHER GRAPE!"

   "After surgery it's quite simple, as well. My goal is to get through the next six weeks as quickly and safely as possible. This, so that on the last day of restriction I can pick up my son, load him in the car and drive him to the driving range - where I am going to swing a golf club for the first time since surgery (that the public will know about because a certain someone will get pretty upset if I push it!). Eventually, getting back into my workout regimen to continue training for my second "Tough Mudder" in September. Which I plan on completing faster than the previous year. In the long term, I should not see any effects of having one kidney, but I don't see that as entirely accurate. I believe this procedure will help me become healthier as a person because I will want to treat my remaining kidney with great care.
   In a different long term mindset, I want to use this experience to help guide people in directions that will help them and others. I want to be able to tell the story to Elijah; helping him grow as a man. A man that thinks of others and takes the opportunities (when presented to him) to help others out when they are in a tough situation themselves."
   Ramah's words speak for themselves, but his actions echo in all of us. There is no doubt that he has been faced with some of the most challenging decisions of his life. However, when the positives outweigh the negatives, there is no more room for excuses. He is proud of his family, he's dedicated to loving them unconditionally and he willingly accepts life with all of its challenges. He believes in living to our fullest potential and does this by example on a daily basis. Though I know he appreciates all of the thoughts and prayers for him; he definitely believes that kind of energy is better spent selflessly helping someone in need. Please be inspired.
   He would be quick to tell you that the recipient of his kidney is the real hero in this situation. For she is faced with ultimate vulnerability and was left to ask for help in the most difficult way possible. Her will to live inspires him and he knew that he would fight just the same as her, if in her situation. He also believes someone would help his family just the same. These are the types of friendships he instills. After next week they will be forever connected in life; not only by a kidney, but by a grateful appreciation for a selfless action. Both of them rewarded in the most amazing way possible.
   We plan to update you in the future and hope you're all making a positive difference, no matter how big or small. Ramah left me to wrap this up anyway I saw fit, so with that I leave everyone with a video from Talib Kweli....

Scotty J ~ "Life is a beautiful struggle."

 

A View from a Half-Jew's Shoes

   This morning I read, 30 Of The Most Powerful Images Ever (linked at the bottom of the page). The photos captured the best and worst of the human-condition; all from different places and times. As difficult as it was, I pictured myself in each individual image. Though all of them were extremely powerful, a couple in particular drummed up some incredible personal emotions and insight. The capacity of vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experiences of another person is called empathy. The phrase, "..putting yourself in someone else's shoes..", is a figurative expression perfectly explaining it. That being said, I don't want you to understand my post today... I want you to FEEL it.

   I am half-Jewish and damn proud of it. There has always been an ongoing debate about the differences of Jewish ethnicity and religion. This is arguable on so many levels, it's not even funny. Well maybe a little bit because most of the Jews I know, have a great sense of humor. Regardless, it's my heritage and I love it. I have in the past and will always stick up for the Jewish people in this world. Now let me show you one of the pictures that moved me, from the article I mentioned.

This is the inside of a gas chamber at Auschwitz (Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp) - Poland

   I saw this picture and my heart stopped, my eyes welled up with tears and an anger started to burn deep in the pit of my stomach. Some of my Jewish ancestors immigrated from Poland at the beginning of the twentieth-century. Though it's inconclusive, I imagine some of them stayed right there. If you can't tell what those lines are on the wall; they're fingernail scratches. They signify the final desperate actions of people fighting for just one more breath. As I stared at this photo, I started to think that some of those death marks on the wall could easily be from my own relatives' hands. Then I imagined myself clawing at the concrete, wearing my bloody fingertips down to the bone and praying for a miracle... suddenly I flashed back to sitting here in front of my computer, overwhelmed with helplessness.

BEAR JEW (photo not from mentioned article)

   If I were presented with the opportunity to fight in that war; I would have done indescribably horrific things to the opposition. Let me put it like this, anyone that has watched the movie Inglorious Basterds remembers the "Bear Jew", right? What you saw him do in that movie, would've been just the tip of the iceberg for me. I would have been legendarily more cruel than Hitler himself. It's strange that we justify punishing cruelty with more cruelty; and of course we base that on the phrase, "Well HE started it!". This is one of those things where my empathy is getting the best of me and I am beyond grateful that none of this was my calling in life.

   Sorry about that everyone. That was rather revealing, but as you all can tell it's a sensitive subject for me. In my past, I have literally been in fist-fights over my heritage. I don't go in search of these situations, but on a few rare occasions it has come to that. Most people are just being ignorant when they say something offensive; a few gentle words about their offensiveness and that brings them back to an embarrassing reality. However, some people take embarrassment as the ultimate insult and others are literally just full of hate. It's schmucks like this that are hard to walk away from because they will usually try to punch you in the back of the head. This is where the term "Jew 'em down" isn't about money to me, but about a Jew knocking you down on the ground. Plain and simple, it's just ridiculous.

These are the graves of a Catholic woman and her Protestant husband in Holland circa 1888

   The picture above, to me, represents a very true form of love. They did not live by the status quo and they even found a way to stay with one another for eternity. When I saw this in the article, it immediately made me think of my failed relationships of the past. Those iconic hands holding one another made mine feel rather empty. Twice in my life, I have had a girlfriend's parent share with them their discomfort about me being Jewish. Which in turn creates a whole new set of challenges that I have never been able to overcome. The first time it happened, I chalked it up to being young. When it happened in my last relationship, I did my best to navigate through it. We never fully came back from that. My girlfriend even had the nerve to say, "I want my parents to like you.", but what was that supposed to take, going back in a time machine to prevent my Jewishness? You would think the people of the 21st century could let those things go, but I digress. In all reality, these women lacked compassion and empathy almost altogether. My own parents are very much a future version of this couple in the picture and I'm certainly never going to trade in who I am for anything.    

   According to the research at Hebrew University, there is approximately 14 million Jews on the planet. Which amounts to about 0.2% of mankind! The fact that my Gentile mother fell in love, married and had two sons with my Jewish father is absolutely incredible to me. This, even after both of them suffered the pain and anguish of divorce from previous marriages. Talk about overcoming some serious adversity in this world; they are an amazingly beautiful couple. They are the first to tell you that relationships can't always be 50/50; life happens and that can bring you down sometimes. They willingly communicate and prove their love by inspiring, motivating and supporting each other in their own personal quests. Also, they always make time for an adventure together. Just the two of them. I don't use the word cute a lot, but they really are the cutest. They may never read this, but I love the example they set for the world.

This where all of my good looks come from, right here!

   Now I only used 2 out of 30 pictures from that article because they hit closest to home for me. They reminded me of who I am, where I come from and the infinite possibilities of my future. There are some photos in that article so incredible, you will literally lose your breath. They will conjure some of the most intense thoughts and emotions of your human spirit. They portray fatherhood, famine, appreciation, genocide, love, devastation, relief, commitment, compassion, happiness and tragedy (among other things.). This article was not for the faint-hearted. Personally, for me, it made my heart grow bigger. Anyone out there who does read that article and cannot put themselves in these peoples' shoes; this is what I have to say to you... 

   Those who typically lack empathy suffer from the woes of jealousy and envy. You spend your lives turning supposed loved ones into puppets for your own benefit. You are master manipulators, selfish with your emotions and have no regard for the people who move mountains for you. It's people like you that contribute to our decay. It's people like you that are responsible for a lot of the darkness we see in this world. It's people like you that force tragedies on others. It's people like you that make me glad to be me.

I'm just trying to speak up for my fellow half-Jews out there!

   Being half-Jewish may have hindered me with others at times, but has genuinely taught me about appreciating love in itself. I certainly would not be here without it. Thanks Mom and Dad! The closet anti-Semites of the world used to hurt my feelings, but now are completely laughable. They can't be themselves because they can't stand themselves, it's hilarious. No matter what anyone wants to argue with me, I hold my heritage close to my heart. The Jewish people have thrived among adversity and fought against oppression for thousands of years. We have done great things for humanity and we love to coexist in this world. Back one of us into a corner though, you better be prepared to get all 14 million of us up your ass. SHALOM!

Scotty J ~ "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

Click here to read "30 Of The Most Powerful Images Ever"

Mid-Winter Break - A Rather Forward Reminder

 Needless to say, we've had a harsh winter in West Michigan this year. School closings, canceled events, tragedy-causing road conditions and sub-zero temperatures have been affecting regular everyday life as we know it. My Facebook feed has never been uglier with negative comments about our beautiful home. Let's try to get past that, my friends, and take a look at the bigger picture.

Embrace it, don't hate it!

   I drove a plow truck for a handful of years; claiming that I hated the snow and loved getting it out of peoples' way. Today when I look back on my snow-plowing years... I realize that it wasn't "hate" for the snow that kept me out there, but the adventure Mother Nature had waiting for me. I braved countless storms, helped stranded motorists and cleared a path for the "worker-bees" of my community. Ahhhhhhhh... what a refreshing and grand perspective. The winter of 2014 (alone) has offered an array of valuable life-lessons for me to not even dare continue hating something of which I have no control. 

   Mother Nature has done an incredible job of breaking up the monotony of our daily lives this winter. She proved that, no matter how much we try to defy her, SHE is in charge. She does not care about what time we have to be at our cubicles, when our next deadline is coming or catching flak from someone generically named "Management". Simply put, none of those things are natural. All we do when we complain about these things is prove that humans are capable of being much colder than the weather itself. We deserve to get snowed-in, we deserve an occasional leak in the roof and we deserve feeling helpless about it all. Many of us are desensitized from a true connection with the outside world. The fantasy that we are above all other things on this planet has been shattered by Mother Nature this winter... and it's fucking gorgeous.

"I hope you take the road less traveled and I hope you find the courage to grow." - Rebelution

   Last week I made a Facebook post that asked, "If you could take Mother Nature on a date, what would the two of you do?". The replies were adventurous, loving, honest, humorous, sexual, violent and some even sought forgiveness. I'd say the reply that made me smile the most was, "I would snow plow through her pillowy mounds and then travel south to hit golf clubs off of her well manicured fairway.", because who doesn't love a good sexual innuendo??

   If it were me, I would grab her by the hand and thank her for The Great Lakes. Together we would forage the land for the freshest bounty, head to the beach and prepare it over an open fire. She would teach me about Earth's mortality and I would write her a poem. We would spend the rest of the night laying in the sand, counting the shimmering stars overhead and letting our dreams dance together. When the early morning sun breaks over the horizon; I would gently touch her face and kiss her with passion. Our actions would speak louder than words and at that moment... I would be one with Mother Nature. Intimate, I know.

   Intimacy is a close, familiar, affectionate personal relationship. We owe that to Mother Nature - every moment of everyday. In actuality, her heart revolves around the sun and her spirit is moved by the moon. We can see it in the tides, taste it in our gardens and feel it in the air. Instead, we're too busy blaming her for our misfortunes. This is all due to a lack of intimacy with the outdoors. She doesn't blame us for being human, come on now!!

   Every season has pros and cons, but if we focus on the latter we are only conning ourselves. Here is my response to all of those shitty Facebook posts... Teachers - enough of being bitter about having to work into your summer. Be grateful that your students and co-workers are safe and sound on snow days. Snow Removal Specialists - you signed up for this, accept the glory of winter. Road Ragers - you deserve to be in the ditch. Think about the safety of your friends and family before you ride our asses and cause legitimate danger. Fake Winter Enthusiasts - you waste our lives twice by saying (in the late fall) you can't wait to hit the slopes, but when the snow actually comes you say you're "over-it". Let me be the first to correct you assholes... you're "under-it" and you probably always will be too.

   It has taken me twenty West Michigan winters to finally gain this perspective. The snow was always a love-hate relationship over those years. Now, I know in my heart that I love it here and to "hate" over being inconvenienced by something, is a waste of life. Those of you who really can't stand dealing with the snow, move. You can do it, I believe in you. I would think that's much easier than spreading hate for a few months out of the year anyway. 

   Mother Nature challenges us everyday to be better human-beings and that's because she is the boss. Every time we complain about her, we fail this challenge, we fail our fellow humans and we fail ourselves. Love her, respect her, praise her and only expect her to be unpredictable. Everything we know is because of her. She makes life, in itself, possible. One last thing... Shout-out to all of those true Winter Warriors carrying the torch out there. Your passion lights the way for the rest of us, thank you so much for leading by example!

That's a Winter Wrecking Crew right there!

Scotty J ~

"If I really wanted to stick my dick in Mother Nature, it's simple. I'd just take off my pants and walk outside."

Frozen or thawed, Lake Michigan always makes me smile. (PHOTO CREDIT: Clark Jansen - Holland, MI)

Saving Scotty Jacobs - Feeling huMAN

   Alright, in the past two weeks I tied up my remaining loose ends from last year. It drummed up the kind of emotions that made it tough to think clearly and stay positive. The kettlebell, however, refused to let me down; it always stays true, regardless of the circumstances. This in turn kept me honest with every routine and had me dig deeper into my true self.

   I don't want people to think Hardstyle kettlebell techniques are some figurative light at the end of some dark tunnel. Hardstyle is the guiding light that illuminates our surroundings, our strength and our lives; no matter what path we choose to walk. Everyday that I pick up the kettlebell it always teaches me more about myself, how I understand the world and what I can do to make a difference in it. Hardstyle builds my self-worth and empowers me to live honestly. Hell, I usually train in my boxer-briefs!! A lack of clothing (for me) always provides a massive influx of productivity.
   This gives me the perfect chance to honestly tell you a little bit about myself. In my youth I wore "husky" sized jeans, sometimes swam with a t-shirt on and would get embarrassed about my body. I also know, I'm not the only man out there with a past like this. Fortunately I still maintained an enthusiastic lifestyle of socializing, playing sports and making lifelong friendships. Then eventually, I grew into being a man (and maybe part black bear.).
   I am a real man, covered in hair; with salt and pepper on my scalp, bushy squirrel tails over my eyes and a beard that loves to muff dive. I have dark curly fibrous man-threads draped over my shoulders, flowing down my chest, back and the rest of my entire body. I sweat from every single pore and I'll go to war with an ingrown hair. My musk is woodsy, natural and passionate - with a healthy pinch of Kosher salt. My wide frame is heavy with muscle, fat and love. My scars tell stories. My big feet stink sometimes. I fart. I burp. I snore when I sleep. I make no excuses for being this way. In fact, I truly embrace it. If I could put it bluntly... you would find a man like me stark naked, finger-painting a cave wall faster than you would see me featured in GQ Magazine.
   Well men, I know there are a ton of you out there just like me. Enough is enough already! We let the "pretty" people have their moment; now it's our job to help the world FEEL HUMAN! We have to rock what we've got and put the kibosh on any social stigma that prevents us from revealing our manliness. Like we really give a shit if the slender guy with the 8-pack of abs and the thighs that don't touch looks comfortable on the XXL sized underwear package. Seriously, I mean what the fuck are they trying to tell us? If we wear their underwear, we'll look like that guy?? Fuck off, put a real man on there... pussies. I would love to see a a big, hairy fitness model land the lead role in the next BowFlex commercial. Big natural men need to be featured more in the spotlight. We are the "norm", not the underwear models of the world. Any one of you who feels embarrassed by being your natural self or showing off your natural self, this post is for you. I am going to go ahead and lead by example here:

REAL MEN DRINK COFFEE IN THEIR FRUIT OF THE LOOMS.

DAY 20 - MAN UP - DAMN THAT KETTLEBELL IS SEXY!!

THE NATURAL MAN FINDS COMFORT IN ANY SURROUNDINGS

   I had an awesome correspondence with a friend over the weekend, that literally left me smiling. She said, "I don't think we would be where we are or who we are without facing some adversity along the way.", and it's so true. Life passes by regardless of us living it up or letting it happen to us. How we live through each experience is what defines us along the way. I know what it's like to be embarrassed of myself, afraid of myself and disappointed in myself - it's no way to live. The only way to overcome those obstacles, is to believe in yourself!! (recurring anecdote - I hope you're all catching on!!)
   Before my "man rant" I mentioned how Hardstyle kettlebell training has helped me to develop a genuine sense of self-worth. I am 45 days into training and have the rest of my life to go! This is my journey and I'm not interested in just showing you some pictures of what I look like a year from now. The self-worth is forged in the actual work, not the outcome. The one consistent outcome in life, is death. Results are meaningless if you can't celebrate the energy it took to reach them.
   There is unfathomable value when it comes to Hardstyle training. I don't spend my days in a gym that costs an arm and a leg, I don't pay some guy to accost me over my shoulder - telling me to "try harder" and I don't have to buy a bunch of gimmicky "fitness" bullshit that tells me how I progressed for the day. My investments are the kettlebell itself and the education I need to maximize its use. Strength, health, longevity, endurance and peace of mind grow with every single repetition. I've learned that these things are most important: Truthfully redefine yourself as often as you need, allow yourself to feel human, endorse that feeling everyday and LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Take action.

Scotty J ~

"Characterize people by their actions and you will never be fooled by their words."
- D. Wood






 
   

Saving Scotty Jacobs: Four Weeks and a Day

   As of yesterday, I have completed four weeks of Kettlebell training. I have only taken two days off in the last month and I feel extremely rewarded with my progress. My initial training only involved two techniques - double hand swings and goblet squats. I have since incorporated one-arm swings and Turkish-get-ups, which have an even more amazing effect on my body. I have not even tempted myself with a sip of pop since the day after Christmas, I have focused on eliminating junk food from my cupboards and filling my usual "munchies" quota with cottage cheese and fruit.

That is some "Old Fashioned Goodness" right there!!

   On December 16, 2013... I hopped on a scale for the first time in a looooooong time. I weighed in at an unkempt 301 lbs! I felt extra fat in the worse way, but found a way to forgive myself and seek a better perspective on LIVING MY LIFE! Today is Monday January 27, 2014 and I'm proud to say in just six weeks I have already made it down to 268 lbs!! Can you believe that?!? I have shed off thirty-three pounds in just six weeks! There are no games or gimmicks here everybody, just dedication.
   I made a commitment to myself and asked all of the readers here on Brass-Knuckle Love Butter to hold me accountable. That is all it has taken for me to stay focused on working hard everyday. Now I don't want to leave out my awesome trainer, Matt Powell, for being able to read my level of enthusiasm and assigning me daily challenges that get me out of my comfort zone. Our ability to communicate openly about my progress makes a world of difference.

Matt Powell and "Ralphie" teaching "Hardstyle". (YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT!)

   Since writing these Saving Scotty Jacobs posts, I have had multiple people inquire about Matt's expertise and availability. He started a Facebook page (Check it out here!) to easier field all inquiries, educate through use of StrongFirst media, post his own progress in "Hardstyle" Kettlebell training (there is an awesome video of him doing a Turkish-get-up with a 106 lbs Kettlebell!!) and, in the future, incorporating his own blog. I am also proud to announce that two of my good buddies have started training with Powell in the last 2 weeks and I look forward to sharing their progress here soon. Not only will I focus on their training, but lifestyle changes as well.

Matt Powell training his new Girya (student of kettlebell), Brewski!

   Lifestyle is a way of life or style of living that reflects the attitudes and values of a person or group. My biggest lifestyle change has been my approach towards food and other consumables. I do the obvious limiting of carbs and processed foods ("limiting" being the key word.). Water has always been tough for me to include on a daily basis, but I have consciously been drinking eleven glasses a day. This keeps me hydrated for my training sessions and much less hungry. As I mentioned earlier, cottage cheese has been a game changer. I have yet to break the habit of opening the 'fridge when I walk by it. Every single time I walk by, I just have to sneak a peak. I keep two quarts of cottage cheese right on the very front of the shelf, forcing that to be my "go to" when I'm hungry. I take a bite of cottage cheese before I decide that I am going to eat anything else. It usually curbs my appetite right away. The one daily treat I look forward to is chocolate milk and I only make it for myself after I am done training for the day. It is definitely my favorite fucking incentive!

Mmmmmmmmmm, I love you.

   I realize in my first Saving Scotty Jacobs post, I mentioned wanting to lose sixty pounds. That comment was really just a shot in the dark. "Hardstyle" training is not about weight-loss, but strength and health for life. After immersing myself in it for just this short period of time, I realize how addicted I already am to it. The more I train, the more I want from it. I am sure reaching my sixty pound goal will be accomplished, but that result has become meaningless. Since beginning all of this, the way I feel on the inside has changed completely.
   I want more than to just lose a few pounds. I want to work towards a certification and be able to teach the art of "Hardstyle" Kettlebells. This is a realistic goal that I am going to accomplish in the long term. The amount of time it takes for me to reach it will just be an awesome part of my life's great fucking adventure. The feedback from readers makes me want to be able to offer more and I could not think of a better way than working towards this certification. There is no better way to inspire and motivate others than to obtain the knowledge and skill it takes to educate them and lead by example!
   I know what it's like to sit on my ass and feel sorry for myself; I don't blame anyone for putting themselves through that either. Life can make us feel lost from time to time and we'll stay that way if we never stop and ask for directions. Pride is that double-edged sword that we are quick to fall on when challenged. Only when we set it aside is when we can take full control of our lives. Our futures are out there... are we going to wait for them to come to us?? or are we going to make them happen??? It's up to us!

Scotty J ~ "We always have the best intentions when we are at our worst. Let's get the fuck up and do something!!"