Food, Music, Home and Acceptance

I have an obsession with two things - food and music. When I’m dead and gone my life’s work will have been dedicated to the incredibly visceral combination of the two. This is the kind of thing where level of intelligence is absolutely moot. It’s about that deep inward feeling that consumes us when we’re experiencing it. They are truly original forms of therapy. The heart is made up of four chambers and I’m apt to say that music and food are two of them.

Every Sunday, a tiny “Rustic American Eatery & Bakery” known as Salt of the Earth hosts incredibly talented guests for their music series. This restaurant is located in Fennville, MI which has an approximate population of only 1,400 people. You could miss driving through it if you sneezed and you certainly would regret it. This tiny town is the buckle to West Michigan’s agricultural belt. To quote their website, “Salt of the Earth celebrates the bounty of the Michigan farm, beverage, and roots music community.”. They actually partner with farmers, growers, brewers and distillers within a fifty-mile radius to provide a long forgotten quality of freshness in today’s food and it’s perfect partner-in-crime... music.

Last night we experienced, local to West Michigan indie-folk sensation, The Crane Wives for an unexpected feeling of euphoria (at seemingly the world’s best venue). They usually play to much larger crowds, but Salt of the Earth is a very special place. Their genre is outside of my go-to-music, however their enthusiastic passion still invoked something in me. They introduced The Diving Bell as their only “happy” song and then laughed because it starts off by referencing drowning. Their metaphors were raw and perfect as if they were lovingly ripened and picked from the garden of life.

I don’t mean to misquote one of their singers, but she said something to which I directly related. I wish I had it recorded, but I believe it was along these lines, “These songs are from our own personal experiences and anxieties. We interpret our emotions through our music. And that’s hard to do when you’re happy because when you’re happy...you know...you’re distracted.”. I’m telling you a huge gong crashed in my brain after she said that and life made just a little bit more sense right then.

Here we were in this perfect sized room with probably less than seventy-five people. On the table sat a bottle of Bordeaux, handmade aged cheddar pierogies with buttered red cabbage, a sweet-smoky wood-fired pizza and the best damn s’more on the planet. The timelessly enchanting melodies of The Crane Wives brought the whole experience full circle, making our toes tingle. Our server said they were “just the cutest band in the whole world”. She may have been right, but they reminded me more of a wolf-pack howling at the moon in perfect three-part harmony. Maybe a cute wolf-pack, though.

The Crane Wives @ Salt of the Earth - 10/26/14 - (photo credit: ShantsBySchantz)

The truth is our food came from the surrounding fields and our music came from our neighbors. This was more than the essence of Americana. This was more than a campaign known as Pure Michigan. This was more than West Michigan, even. This was the pioneering spirit of our home and all of us there accepted that we were a part of it together. Which reminds me, those other two chambers of our heart are exactly that - home and acceptance. Damn, that was delicious.

Scotty J ~ "If we can focus on living and loving locally, we can lead by example globally."

Check ‘em out here on the web...

http://thecranewives.com/

http://www.saltoftheearthfennville.com/index.htm

...and find your way to ‘em in person!!

Mutual Weirdness

For those of you that don't know me personally, I'm madly in love with a woman named Jessica. Aside from how much we laughed, her hazel-green eyes hypnotized me the first time we met. They seemed to sparkle and change shades every time she smiled, it made my heart race. I'm not exactly sure if she caught me staring at her that night, but I tried like hell to keep it chill around her, uninterested even. I didn't want to be overcome by the nearly uncontrollable notions I was feeling for her. It wasn't infatuation. It wasn't love-at-first-sight. I knew it was much much bigger.

That night, I had a forty-five minute drive home and spent it chatting on the phone with a different girl I had gone on a few dates with at the time. She drunkenly talked about herself and eventually stopped making sense altogether. It didn't matter anyway, I wasn't paying attention. I still couldn't get over the feeling from meeting this beautiful green-eyed woman from earlier in the night. A feeling that's only grown since then too.

Jessica and I started seeing each other just a couple of weeks later and I'm not even sure how. My beard was the bushiest it had ever been, absorbing everything it had come close to like a sea sponge - it literally reeked of buffalo chicken dip and campfire. However I wasn't embarrassed by that and she certainly wasn't deterred. It wasn't long after that we realized our favorite view is the one we share together. Since then it hasn't mattered where our adventure has taken us, as long as we experience life together.

For the record, my beard actually did smell like that and I know that sounds weird, but I've learned that true love exposes every part of who we are. It conquers fears, energizes the spirit and feels like flying. Simply put, there is just no hiding from it. True love occurs when two people take off their "cool" with a willing vulnerability and let their naked hearts beat in unison. They never hide from themselves nor each other. I really believe Dr. Seuss said it best...

I knew nothing about love before meeting Jessica. I had only experienced lust, loneliness and lies. All of my prior relationships were just novelties lining my shelves like trophies for confusion and heartbreak. I'm not even mad about it though. All of those mistakes of the past were really quite the contrary (and Jessica's too.). They were exactly what lead us to one another and I wouldn't dare change that for the universe.

She fits perfectly into my big bear-hugging arms, as if we were a two-piece puzzle made to only fit with each other. In fact, she even calls me Bear. Every time we touch, it feels like we melt into one another. Honestly, it's the most selfless and giving feeling in the world. Like me, she loves children's books and the other little things life has to offer - like basking in the sunshine, the waves on Lake Michigan, aromatic candles and fresh cut flowers. From a friendly tennis match to a long walk through a vineyard with a kiss under a shade tree to a night of making dinner with old and new friends - every single day is an adventure worth every moment of our time.

We even share a journal to write each other uplifting notes and reminisce about our inside jokes from each little moment we've had together. I gave it to her for coming to spend my birthday with me, eating pizza and drinking wine on a sunset boat cruise. In my first entry I confessed my heart and told her I loved her. I knew it was fast, but at thirty-one years old I knew even better that life was too damn short. In one of my favorite entries from her she copied a poem by R.M. Drake that read...

We are magic.
We are moments.
We are dreams and we are memories.
We are everything.
And in the depths we swim deeper
to discover that we are not born whole
so we cannot be broken.
We are born in twos, and
we are searching, searching for
the other piece,
that other person to guide us home.

  
A year ago at this time I had nearly severed ties from everything I knew and took off for an unknown destination. I had thought that maybe true love wasn't for me this lifetime, but I never stopped believing in it. I don't know why, I just couldn't. What I didn't understand then became perfectly transparent the day I read that poem. See, she too had gone through some heavy-hearted changes at the same time. It really felt like braving the darkest storm on this sea of life. Apparently though it was just the wind catching our sails, steadily pushing us "home".

They say... home is where the heart is. Well I don't know who "they" are, but they couldn't have been more right. Though the future is unknown and life is full of surprises, being with her is the happiest I've ever been. Something tells me if you asked her, she'd tell you the exact same thing. True love isn't something we bellow from a mountain top, it's the strength and motivation behind our climb up the mountain. Love defines us, never stop believing in it.

Scotty J ~ "No matter how inexperienced nor how broken, the heart knows best."

I love you Jes!!

The Gales of November Came Early

Last month I traveled with my girlfriend to Chicago. While she worked at her office in Ravenswood I took the liberty of meandering my way downtown and checking into our hotel. I was tired and needed a nap, but the Windy City was stirring and I just had to immerse myself in it. After a lengthy walk and a salty snack, I needed a toke and casually strolled back toward the hotel.

During my pursuit for a discrete location to "partake" I came across this perfectly nestled courtyard. It was a beautiful hardscape with a massive trellis built out of timbers. The stone planters had hard angles and a checkerboard symmetry to their placement. Their flamboyant green and pink foliage had a majestic vibe among all of the concrete in the city. The shadows from the trellis seemed to be perfectly painted on the solid ground. I looked around and counted..1..2..3..4..5 bums sleeping in the late summer sun.
Not really sure of what my immediate future plans were, I opted to join these bottom-feeders. With my bag as my pillow, I slept for a bit and dreamed of nothing. When I awoke, I looked around and realized that my new acquaintances had not dreamed in years. They stalk the night diving in dumpsters and living off of the scraps of others. It's a lifestyle so grueling they shamelessly sleep it off surrounded by the loudness of traffic, construction and sirens.
Who were these guys? Had their whole lives been on the streets? I thought maybe one of them was a washed-up stock broker who (at one point) had everything he could have imagined. Then after some sort of tragedy he realized all of the things he had were truly nothing. That's when self-actualization set in and he slipped through the cracks. Regardless, all of these guys were fast asleep and I certainly wasn't going to interrupt their much needed rest before another night of urban foraging just to get their story. I slipped my arms through the straps on my backpack and carried on with my adventure.

I don't know why, but as I reflect on this today it came to me that these guys made a gallant abomination of the status-quo. Who am I to refer to these guys as "bottom-feeders"?? At that very moment in their lives that was their destiny. Just as mine was to lay among them then, realize that today and write about it now. Perhaps one of those guys in the courtyard had achieved an incredible level of enlightenment that I may never reach in a thousand lifetimes. They had not given up, these men weren't dead. They were genuine survivors and now I find myself admiring them.
The day we're born we start to die and that's the truth. We live in this society that is obsessed with prolonging our mortality (if we can afford it) and then wonder why we can't find happiness. Abraham Lincoln said, "In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.". There is no fucking point in living longer just to be miserable longer. We actually have the audacity to find a way to be offended by anything and people band together in this sad prideful hatred of the human essence.

It's amazing what you can find under the tracks. - Lincoln Square - Chicago, IL

I love street art because it defies the bullshit to which we're regularly subjected. We are all too shamefully influenced by the diabolical "mad men" of the world with their toxic slogans and fictitious imagery. Everywhere we look there's a creative reference to someone being more productive than ourselves. We try to ignore it all (or at least pretend), but to our avail it catches up with us from time to time. Hence me writing all of this.
Brass-Knuckle Love Butter. RAWdio Podcast. Producers United. Interestingly Human. These are the four projects to which I creatively contribute and channel my soul. In fact, Producers United is the only website that's really all put together with regularly updated content. It also happens to be the only project for which I am NOT the administrator. I know that intention is meaningless without action. I'm not doubting my ability to achieve my heart's desires, I'm just calling myself out right now. Holding back is starting to make me feel sickly and gross. It's like the world's cruelest form of suicide and I think most of us are suffering from it in one form or another.
Thanks to my friends in the courtyard, I realized we all have an unfathomable durability as humans. Though death is always out there lurking in so many forms, we can still live through so many unimaginable circumstances. We are all destined for something and it doesn't matter what the rest of the world thinks of it. Maybe mine is leading a renaissance of new age creators with old souls. Better yet, maybe it's helping people listen to their hearts. Who knows?? It could be creating a jankie knock-off version of Mr. Potato Head called Dr. Pineapple Face or perhaps it will just be impoverished squalor. Hell it could be all of the above, but that's neither here nor there.
Luck, circumstance and timing come and go like the wind. Sometimes it's at our backs helping push us along; other times it's right in our face pushing against us; and occasionally it's just stagnant, nowhere to be found. We have to remind ourselves to put into life what makes us feel alive. See, each day we are living our destiny. It transcends through our experiences, our actions and even our intentions. Destiny isn't something we choose, chase or avoid. It's constantly molding throughout our lifetime. It's a part of us...always.


Scotty J ~

              

     

Days To Come

I have been noticing a lot of divorces and break-ups lately. These tend to be rough moments in our lives when we do silly things like make cryptic Facebook posts, have pity parties for ourselves and talk out of our asses way more than normal. Love is a tricky emotion because when it fails, it's counterpart is hate. It's hard to let go of something that had us emotionally invested, we carry-on with the hate when the love is gone. In most cases we feel like we lived for this person and without them, we are nobody. Our lack of identity leaves us feeling empty, hollow and lost. I know...I know... break-ups fucking suck, so here's a little unsolicited advice from a fellow survivor...

Don't hate them for this.

Live through it, to the best of your abilities. Be wounded and vulnerable. Try your very best to not project these emotions, but rather experience them. Learn and let your soul grow. It's not about recovering the person you once were, but living as the person you are today. I assure you it's not selfish to focus on yourself, especially at a time when you need it most. Explore the darkness.
Leave your pride in the burning wreckage of your relationship and be humbled. The world will always be yours even when you're not sharing it with someone else. Admire the little things, always. A perfect cup of coffee, a flourishing herb garden, the sound of rain on a tin roof, the aroma of fresh-baked banana bread, puppies, hugs, sunsets, good music and holding the door open for a stranger are among the countless "little things" that truly deserve your attention.
You must embrace your lows as much as you celebrate your highs. These positive and negative experiences are the foundation to how you relate to other human beings. Minimize your social life during the low moments because the energy you transfer to friends and loved ones will eventually become toxic. Forgive yourself for detaching and know that it's for the sake of preservation. Genuine friends will understand this much better (rather than dumb drunken tirades about your ex-lover...), trust me.
In fact, getting drunk while emotionally bottomed-out is extremely counterproductive. There is no sense in feeling depressed and attempting to drown it with a depressant. This can easily push good people out of your life, but for some reason the booze won't let you see that. You actually have the drunken nerve to resent them for keeping their distance. Find a way to appreciate the space they've given you to explore yourself. Remember, nobody else can make you feel better more than yourself!!
If you focus only on the fact that your pride is broken, your heart will never heal. Don't worry about what you did or didn't deserve in your last relationship, it's over. One of the greatest feelings in the world is falling in love. You haven't realized it yet, but you get this fucking amazing opportunity to feel those highs again. Maybe with someone who feels them the same way you do (even if they aren't the person you're going to grow with for the rest of your life.). Let the love you share teach you about yourself, fulfill your life and shine the light on your destiny.

Love unfiltered.

 
One thing is for certain, the love we share is the best part of who we all are.

Scotty J ~ Spread the Love Butter!!
                                                                                                                                                                   

Saving Scotty Jacobs - Magically Delicious

It has been quite a while since writing one of these posts. Hot sunny days and a beautiful woman have been getting my full attention... and I'm not even close to sorry about it!! My goal for the immediate future is finding balance among the things that truly make me happy. Recently, I came across a book I used to keep on my nightstand in high school. I smiled when I held it in my hands and fanned through the pages. I stopped on this chapter here and thought I should share it with everyone:

I have no magic power; I make Personality my Magic Power.

The Samurai is acutely conscious of human dynamics. He knows that events turn on the personalities of those involved in any situation - and that each personality brings new chemistry to the mix.
All of us come to the table with individual agendas. It can take a long time of sifting through the social masks that people present to get a true picture of their intentions. We are all masters of hiding who we are in order to leverage a position in life. We are all actors, behaving as we imagine others expect to secure our place in the order of things. Personality as we know of it is a grab bag of facial expressions, stitched up with predictable words we think everyone wants to hear. Most of us are trained to build a personality that will somehow get us what we want, however great or humble our desires.
Part of this "training" is the honing of a personality that we present to the world, so that others might see us as unique or , at the very least, un-threatening. Relationships are often built upon the illusion of personalities that are mere shadows of who we really are. People rarely know one another at a level deeper than their shadow selves. This is why so many relationships dissolve over sudden, insignificant events. There can be no substance of truth between masks or shadows.
So what is this "magnetic power" of Personality? And how does the Samurai employ it to achieve his aim? Is it the same old game, played the way we are taught to play?
It is simple: The Samurai does not script his actions according to his own, or others', conventional expectations. He releases his natural eloquence in the plainest of terms. His eyes speak for his mouth, his mouth speaks for his heart. His mind is present, attentive, in tune with his ethical integrity. He does not manipulate with words. Whatever he needs to say flows from unaffected sincerity and simple self-knowledge. This is genuine Personality, unblemished by greed, fear, or opportunism.
A Samurai's Magic Power is the unforced charisma of a person without guile. This kind of person honors daily life by serving as an integral part of it. His presence alone exposes fakery and posturing, which are more likely sorcery than magic. He knows that magic flows naturally through anyone who does not build their own impediments to the truth.

(*This is an excerpt from One Flash of Lightning, A Samurai Path for Living in the Moment by Stephanie JT Russell.)

Personality is the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character. Some of our traits we inherit, others we develop from our life's experiences. Personality is the dish we bring to the potluck of life - some people will get down on it, while others may choose to pass on it altogether. We are all an acquired taste and our deliciousness is as unique as our individuality.
The most important statement from the above excerpt is the last sentence - "He knows that magic flows naturally through anyone who does not build their own impediments to the truth.". Saving Scotty Jacobs posts started over six months ago and they are my testimony to a happier healthier existence. I asked all of you to hold me accountable to help keep me honest with myself. Needless to say, it has been an incredible journey thus far.
Matt Powell's Hardstyle Kettlbell training over the winter awakened my potential. Aside from physically getting stronger, I found true inner-strength using his simple yet sinister techniques. His philosophies - "no wasted repetition" and "try anything once" - empowered my confidence. I have never felt more alive and been more in love with this adventure called - life. Lately my physical training has taken a backseat, but the physical demands of farming still have me growing stronger. The same fundamentals Powell taught me with the kettlebell apply perfectly to working the fields.

I measure success with a happy heart and I have to say... life is pretty fucking awesome. I've learned that I only seem to find boundaries when I'm suffering from a lack of passion. In the past I've spent too much time doing what I thought was right, instead of listening to my heart. When I finally ran out of excuses, I looked around and the only thing I had left was my personality. Well, guess what?? That's when the magic revealed itself and I finally set myself free from the rest of the world's expectations.

My sense of humor, sense of adventure and sense of self have become my foundation for a rewarding life. In fact, maybe they always were anyway and it took me a long while to finally realize it. Regardless, writing about my journey has brought a lot of incredible people into my life. I have friends around the world checking in and showing their support. Others have confessed they want to make a change for themselves and embrace the depths of their own capabilities. Occasionally there's even a naysayer or two projecting negativity, unaware of their own incredible potential. Nonetheless, they're all a part of my inspiration and that's a huge part of the magic in my personality. I always appreciate the energy it takes to truly share a part of yourself.

Honestly I'm no Samurai. I'm just a goofy lovable guy raised by amazingly patient parents, both with a "magic" of their own. Take all of those things that come with being their son, all of my experiences that I've learned from along the way and here I am. Most of my days are spent coaxing a smile from friends and strangers alike because I love to laugh with people. Living perfectly, to me, is knowing what you're living for... and for me it's love and the great adventure. Thank you everyone for the love, support, encouragement and general badass-ness you've shared with me since starting all of this. This goes without saying, but you're all a huge part of what defines me today.

If life were actually a potluck and we were all just food on the table, I wonder what we would all be? I think I could be a corned beef or maybe a platter of sliders. Ohhh I know... I could be Honey-Nut Cheerios and milk, so you'd get to eat me up and drink me down!! You know you love the Honey-Nut!! Really though, I'm probably the hot artichoke dip you shouldn't eat too much of, but you put on everything anyway. Mmmm. From canned tuna to caramel cashew ice-cream, it really doesn't matter, we're all magically delicious... we just have to show up to the party!!!

Scotty J ~ A special thanks to my friend Adam Marks for always posting inspirational memes to keep the world inspired. You've got the magic, my friend. ABRA-CADABRA!!!


       

WE ARE VERY LUCKY

   I rose up out of my slumber this morning to an email from a very close friend. The subject line was blank and in it he simply wrote, "This changed me for the better. Check it out.", with a link to this awesome video (please watch before proceeding):

   That was, without a doubt, extremely fucking powerful. Asher Roth is a hip-hop artist out of Philly sharing this incredible message - WE ARE VERY LUCKY. We walk around this modern world and tend to forget this. We forget to feel the breath in our lungs and the hearts in our chests; we forget to feel alive; and we forget about everyone else who forgets about this too. Our everyday struggles are so small compared to the fact that we actually HAVE the life itself, to live each day. Like the song says though, "Someone's always caught up in the fast life.".
   My friend who sent me this faces that challenge regularly. He's a true family man. His gorgeous wife loves him unconditionally and the two of them have the absolute best behaved children on the planet. Everyone that comes into their home gets treated like family because they simply wouldn't have it any other way. However, something deep rooted in his past (well before starting his own family) haunts him every moment of everyday.
   Once his family gets to bed, he's left alone with his guilty conscience. He loses himself in the darkness, suppressing it with booze and cocaine. As the night turns to dawn; his guilt becomes regret and his self-value drops through the floor. It's followed up with a wicked hangover and severe anxiety for a couple of days. THIS is being caught up in the fast life. It has been going on for years now and he's finally reached a breaking point.

FRIENDSHIP.

   We've been friends since we were kids and confidants in all sorts of matters over the years. Honestly, he has helped lift some of the heaviest stones off of my chest. I know all about his gloomy past and self-deprecating actions. At times, I've felt like a shitty helpless friend. About a month ago, he wrote me one of the most compelling and passionate confessions. He felt as is if he's been living a lie. It was about his guilt for the past, remorse for the present, his fear for the future and his love for everyone involved. He wants life to be better and admitted he did not know where to start. Though he didn't see it, this open self-awareness has become the foundation for setting his goal.
  Change like this does not happen over night. Fully adapting to a new perspective takes its time and old habits die HARD. We've had some extremely moving and positive conversations since then, but last week he found himself hanging out in the darkness again. The booze, cocaine, depression and anxiety rolled through like a freight train. He wrote me a letter second guessing his new direction, feeling guilty about even trying to change. His brutal honesty filled my heart.
  Like me, all of his emotions are fueled with passion. We both have an obsession with music, humor and people's drive to be creative. I made sure to relay that in my response and I reminded him that I would never love him any less for being himself. Then I joked about him calling me a "hippy", sent him a link to a song and asked him to listen. I told him to listen to it a million times, if that's what it took to get the lyrics to sink into his heart. I myself didn't have the words, but I refused to leave him hanging. This song describes such a willingness to seek the life you want. Have a listen..

   We all have a choice to hold onto what makes us strong and let go of what makes us weak. We need to learn from our experiences and let go of the past. This is my friend's daily battle and he has to be the warrior that overcomes it. And I will always fight my own battles right along side of him, as a reminder that he's not alone. Brothers-in-arms fighting the good fight; both on a search for our honest selves. The more truth we reveal, the better men we become.
   This morning the music revealed to him an absolute truth - WE ARE VERY LUCKY - to have lived through what could have easily killed us. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - for the love from our families. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - for knowing we want to change for the better. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - for caring about and sharing the things that mean the most. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - that it makes us smile to make someone else smile. WE ARE VERY LUCKY - to have a friendship like this, regardless of our demons.

WE ARE VERY LUCKY FOR TODAY!!

Scotty J ~ "It doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine." - Common

Listen to "The Fast Life" by Asher Roth here!!
 
 
 

  

Donate Your Love For Life - A Message From Matt Ramah

   There is nothing more breath-taking, in the human culture, than selflessness. A random act of kindness has the power to change not just a person's day, but their entire world. The intent is to reward someone who is unsuspecting, however the power of the action goes well beyond that. In most cases, the unsuspecting person goes on to pay it forward. It's rare when we get to witness something this incredible, but every single one of us is capable of creating the moment. This takes me back a few weeks ago, when a very dear friend called me with an update on life.

Seriously take the time to do this!

   My friendship with Matt Ramah goes all the way back to 1994; and has only grown stronger since the days of our youth. We've been there for each other, with a shameless confidence, in some of the best and worst moments that we've ever experienced. Therefore, I was not the slightest bit shocked when he told me he was in the process of becoming a kidney donor. He simply explained to me, that a friend (who is like family to him) had a close family member with fading health. He didn't have to go on... my heart was beating with his. He spoke from an amazingly humble perspective and I realized, at that very moment, he had grown into the man that many of us hope to become one day.
   In his everyday life, Matt Ramah is a medical adjuster living in Columbus, OH with his family. His beautiful wife, Alicia, is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met; and his six month old son, Elijah, has been practicing his soccer skills since he was in the womb. Raylan, their pit-bull mix, keeps the whole family laughing with her loving antics (and, of course, secretly runs the household.). I'm trying to get them to adopt me, but no luck yet... Thanks Raylan! Basically though, the Ramah family is badass.

Look at the center of attention there....

   Ramah and I wrote this piece together. Our goal is to put any worried or discouraged loved ones' hearts and minds at ease; and inspire others to explore themselves and give what they can truly live without. I asked him what attracted him to helping people and how he determined selflessness; his response was this:
   "I have had many selfish moments in life. More than I would like to count, but it's the selfless moments I find easier to recollect. It's the look on someone's face - when you take the time out of your day to be there for them because they are clearly in a place more difficult than you. Whether that's jump-starting a car, responding to an accident scene or volunteering at an animal or homeless shelter. It's a feeling that stays with you and helps you see the greater purpose in life. I don't see a determining factor in someone's selflessness. I think it's something that only the person doing the act can fully understand. We can't stop at every flat tire (metaphorically speaking) along the way, it just doesn't work like that. You will know when you passed up the golden opportunity to positively affect someone else's day. The key is to use that moment to recognize you had the opportunity; and commit to not passing it up the next time an opportunity arises."
   It just goes to show you how honest you have to be with yourself about your own character, in order to take selfless action. Do you stop and pull a large fallen tree limb to the side of the road, so that traffic doesn't have to swerve around it? Do you call the phone number on a stray dog's collar?? Do you give up your spot in line at the grocery store to someone behind you with less groceries??? These little gestures save lives, make families whole again and help people move on with their day in a positive fashion.
   "I am donating my kidney to one of my best friend's sister-in-law. Alicia and I are pretty close with most of their family. To be honest, I do not know the sister-in-law much at all, but it was the closeness with the entire family, including her husband, that led me to make this decision. 
   When I originally determined looking into being tested for a match, it was a very rash decision. Alicia noticed me taking a screenshot of the Facebook post (by the family in need) requesting anyone willing to check into this more. She made a comment about "seeing what I just did" and this kicked off the whole process. We have had excellent communication with each other along the way; educating ourselves to the max to ensure this decision we were making was going to be the right one. The decision to move forward with donating an organ was something that had to be made knowing that my family would not be affected in a negative way (This in no way was something that only I would decide.)."
   When he found he was actually a match for donation, a whole new set of challenges was in front of him. His honesty about what he was feeling gave me a warm and fuzzy sensation. Like we had just scored a touchdown to tie the game and there was still a lot of hard work to accomplish for the victory.
   "Finding out I was officially "the match" was a really shocking thing to hear. I think most people go into this situation expecting to hear - Thank you so much for the selfless consideration, but... - and I'll be honest, I really expected to hear the same thing. That doesn't detract from anyone that puts themselves in a position to be a potential donor, but man, the weight of it all doesn't really start to settle into place. That's until you get more finite information that you actually have a decision to make, in regards to moving forward with the donation or not. Alicia and I took every step of the process as a way for us to sit back, review where we were as a family and where this would take us. There never was a phone call that came in where I just said "yes" or "no" to something. It always revolved around them giving us time to make a rational decision. So when we found it was as official as it is going to be, we took the time to weigh out positives and negatives. And EVERY single time, the positives outweighed the negatives in a HUGE way."
   His attitude has always been humble about the kidney donation. He has been calculated in conversing with others about what he's doing because he didn't want things to "get crazy" early in the process. We all want to be supportive, but some of us might project our own worry that could negatively influence him. He let some of us who are closest to him know what was going on, so we could wrap our heads around it. He also needed us to be a voice for him through the process. Ramah wants to maintain his positive outlook through this journey and knows he can't connect with every single loved one, individually, prior to surgery. He had this message to share with everyone:
   "It is going to come out to everyone what I am doing and I am okay with that. I want people to know what I am doing, so they can look differently at situations in the future. I am in no way advocating that everyone should be willing to donate an organ. What I AM saying is to find the situations that are presented to you where you can make a difference in other people's lives. Don't immediately find a reason not to help. Sit back and think of your options. If your positives for helping someone else outweigh the negatives, why not give it a go? You will feel better about yourself and, believe me, the person that you help will be more grateful than you realize prior to helping them. I am not better than anyone for what I am doing, but I am an advocate to the idea of the positive impact a selfless decision can have on the world. A world that's dominated by negative headlines and the selfish acts of the celebrities that are idolized by the public eye."
   The opportunity to change somebody's world for the better came knocking on the Ramah's door. They graciously answered with their hearts full of love, which honestly guided their way through this decision. It's that love forged in their young growing family that builds confidence and easily manages their fears. Though it seems effortless from an outside perspective, I know they work hard to live genuinely happy.
   Prior to surgery, Ramah plans on doing things that will be off-limits during his six week recovery period. Most importantly, holding his son Elijah. He also plans to go out with some friends to wish his kidney "bon voyage" and feed it a few drinks. As he so enthusiastically shared, "because that guy is going on a journey!", and I certainly don't blame him!

CHEERS to you Brother!! "CONNIE.. GET ME ANOTHER GRAPE!"

   "After surgery it's quite simple, as well. My goal is to get through the next six weeks as quickly and safely as possible. This, so that on the last day of restriction I can pick up my son, load him in the car and drive him to the driving range - where I am going to swing a golf club for the first time since surgery (that the public will know about because a certain someone will get pretty upset if I push it!). Eventually, getting back into my workout regimen to continue training for my second "Tough Mudder" in September. Which I plan on completing faster than the previous year. In the long term, I should not see any effects of having one kidney, but I don't see that as entirely accurate. I believe this procedure will help me become healthier as a person because I will want to treat my remaining kidney with great care.
   In a different long term mindset, I want to use this experience to help guide people in directions that will help them and others. I want to be able to tell the story to Elijah; helping him grow as a man. A man that thinks of others and takes the opportunities (when presented to him) to help others out when they are in a tough situation themselves."
   Ramah's words speak for themselves, but his actions echo in all of us. There is no doubt that he has been faced with some of the most challenging decisions of his life. However, when the positives outweigh the negatives, there is no more room for excuses. He is proud of his family, he's dedicated to loving them unconditionally and he willingly accepts life with all of its challenges. He believes in living to our fullest potential and does this by example on a daily basis. Though I know he appreciates all of the thoughts and prayers for him; he definitely believes that kind of energy is better spent selflessly helping someone in need. Please be inspired.
   He would be quick to tell you that the recipient of his kidney is the real hero in this situation. For she is faced with ultimate vulnerability and was left to ask for help in the most difficult way possible. Her will to live inspires him and he knew that he would fight just the same as her, if in her situation. He also believes someone would help his family just the same. These are the types of friendships he instills. After next week they will be forever connected in life; not only by a kidney, but by a grateful appreciation for a selfless action. Both of them rewarded in the most amazing way possible.
   We plan to update you in the future and hope you're all making a positive difference, no matter how big or small. Ramah left me to wrap this up anyway I saw fit, so with that I leave everyone with a video from Talib Kweli....

Scotty J ~ "Life is a beautiful struggle."

 

A View from a Half-Jew's Shoes

   This morning I read, 30 Of The Most Powerful Images Ever (linked at the bottom of the page). The photos captured the best and worst of the human-condition; all from different places and times. As difficult as it was, I pictured myself in each individual image. Though all of them were extremely powerful, a couple in particular drummed up some incredible personal emotions and insight. The capacity of vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experiences of another person is called empathy. The phrase, "..putting yourself in someone else's shoes..", is a figurative expression perfectly explaining it. That being said, I don't want you to understand my post today... I want you to FEEL it.

   I am half-Jewish and damn proud of it. There has always been an ongoing debate about the differences of Jewish ethnicity and religion. This is arguable on so many levels, it's not even funny. Well maybe a little bit because most of the Jews I know, have a great sense of humor. Regardless, it's my heritage and I love it. I have in the past and will always stick up for the Jewish people in this world. Now let me show you one of the pictures that moved me, from the article I mentioned.

This is the inside of a gas chamber at Auschwitz (Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp) - Poland

   I saw this picture and my heart stopped, my eyes welled up with tears and an anger started to burn deep in the pit of my stomach. Some of my Jewish ancestors immigrated from Poland at the beginning of the twentieth-century. Though it's inconclusive, I imagine some of them stayed right there. If you can't tell what those lines are on the wall; they're fingernail scratches. They signify the final desperate actions of people fighting for just one more breath. As I stared at this photo, I started to think that some of those death marks on the wall could easily be from my own relatives' hands. Then I imagined myself clawing at the concrete, wearing my bloody fingertips down to the bone and praying for a miracle... suddenly I flashed back to sitting here in front of my computer, overwhelmed with helplessness.

BEAR JEW (photo not from mentioned article)

   If I were presented with the opportunity to fight in that war; I would have done indescribably horrific things to the opposition. Let me put it like this, anyone that has watched the movie Inglorious Basterds remembers the "Bear Jew", right? What you saw him do in that movie, would've been just the tip of the iceberg for me. I would have been legendarily more cruel than Hitler himself. It's strange that we justify punishing cruelty with more cruelty; and of course we base that on the phrase, "Well HE started it!". This is one of those things where my empathy is getting the best of me and I am beyond grateful that none of this was my calling in life.

   Sorry about that everyone. That was rather revealing, but as you all can tell it's a sensitive subject for me. In my past, I have literally been in fist-fights over my heritage. I don't go in search of these situations, but on a few rare occasions it has come to that. Most people are just being ignorant when they say something offensive; a few gentle words about their offensiveness and that brings them back to an embarrassing reality. However, some people take embarrassment as the ultimate insult and others are literally just full of hate. It's schmucks like this that are hard to walk away from because they will usually try to punch you in the back of the head. This is where the term "Jew 'em down" isn't about money to me, but about a Jew knocking you down on the ground. Plain and simple, it's just ridiculous.

These are the graves of a Catholic woman and her Protestant husband in Holland circa 1888

   The picture above, to me, represents a very true form of love. They did not live by the status quo and they even found a way to stay with one another for eternity. When I saw this in the article, it immediately made me think of my failed relationships of the past. Those iconic hands holding one another made mine feel rather empty. Twice in my life, I have had a girlfriend's parent share with them their discomfort about me being Jewish. Which in turn creates a whole new set of challenges that I have never been able to overcome. The first time it happened, I chalked it up to being young. When it happened in my last relationship, I did my best to navigate through it. We never fully came back from that. My girlfriend even had the nerve to say, "I want my parents to like you.", but what was that supposed to take, going back in a time machine to prevent my Jewishness? You would think the people of the 21st century could let those things go, but I digress. In all reality, these women lacked compassion and empathy almost altogether. My own parents are very much a future version of this couple in the picture and I'm certainly never going to trade in who I am for anything.    

   According to the research at Hebrew University, there is approximately 14 million Jews on the planet. Which amounts to about 0.2% of mankind! The fact that my Gentile mother fell in love, married and had two sons with my Jewish father is absolutely incredible to me. This, even after both of them suffered the pain and anguish of divorce from previous marriages. Talk about overcoming some serious adversity in this world; they are an amazingly beautiful couple. They are the first to tell you that relationships can't always be 50/50; life happens and that can bring you down sometimes. They willingly communicate and prove their love by inspiring, motivating and supporting each other in their own personal quests. Also, they always make time for an adventure together. Just the two of them. I don't use the word cute a lot, but they really are the cutest. They may never read this, but I love the example they set for the world.

This where all of my good looks come from, right here!

   Now I only used 2 out of 30 pictures from that article because they hit closest to home for me. They reminded me of who I am, where I come from and the infinite possibilities of my future. There are some photos in that article so incredible, you will literally lose your breath. They will conjure some of the most intense thoughts and emotions of your human spirit. They portray fatherhood, famine, appreciation, genocide, love, devastation, relief, commitment, compassion, happiness and tragedy (among other things.). This article was not for the faint-hearted. Personally, for me, it made my heart grow bigger. Anyone out there who does read that article and cannot put themselves in these peoples' shoes; this is what I have to say to you... 

   Those who typically lack empathy suffer from the woes of jealousy and envy. You spend your lives turning supposed loved ones into puppets for your own benefit. You are master manipulators, selfish with your emotions and have no regard for the people who move mountains for you. It's people like you that contribute to our decay. It's people like you that are responsible for a lot of the darkness we see in this world. It's people like you that force tragedies on others. It's people like you that make me glad to be me.

I'm just trying to speak up for my fellow half-Jews out there!

   Being half-Jewish may have hindered me with others at times, but has genuinely taught me about appreciating love in itself. I certainly would not be here without it. Thanks Mom and Dad! The closet anti-Semites of the world used to hurt my feelings, but now are completely laughable. They can't be themselves because they can't stand themselves, it's hilarious. No matter what anyone wants to argue with me, I hold my heritage close to my heart. The Jewish people have thrived among adversity and fought against oppression for thousands of years. We have done great things for humanity and we love to coexist in this world. Back one of us into a corner though, you better be prepared to get all 14 million of us up your ass. SHALOM!

Scotty J ~ "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

Click here to read "30 Of The Most Powerful Images Ever"

Confessions, Thoughts and Observations of a 30 Year Old Man - Real Life Revelations of Scotty Jacobs

This is a compilation of my own randomness. I have said this before and I don't feel like I will ever abandon this philosophy, "Nonsense makes the most sense.". Others, have their own rigid lives. Everything is planned out and that works for them. To me, that seems very boring. Like, maybe it lacks a wholesome reward, emotionally and spiritually. My goals are less tangible and more focused on the experiences in life and the way it makes us feel. My Dad describes this as being "sensitive" and he's probably right. In a past life, I was one of "The Lost Boys". Today, my lifestyle choice would probably be diagnosed as "Peter Pan Syndrome". I don't blame Toys R Us for this occurrence (Remember? "I don't wanna grow up! I'm a Toys R Us kid..."). It's simply just me being me. I did not attempt to filter my thoughts and feelings today. I stayed true to myself, there is only raw emotion and personal beliefs. So let's go deep, take a glimpse into my soul, keep an open mind and read at your own risk...

• The thought of being skinny scares the shit out of me. My girth never limits my worth. 

• Really muscular women do not turn me on. I also hate Jillian Michaels. She is a lunatic. When she dies, she has a room reserved next to the furnace in hell. She IS the BIGGEST "Loser". 

Ruthless Bitch.

• Birthdays are my favorite holiday. Celebrate them always. 

Some of the best memories are made while celebrating someone great in our lives.

• When someone uses the term "Jew 'em down", it takes all of the energy inside of me to keep myself from ripping their lips off of their face. (Ignorance is bliss, if you like being a redneck schmuck.)

• Love is much bigger than any relationship.

• A dog really is man's best friend.

See what I mean? Actually, this might be more than friendship.

• All food items are acceptable at any meal. Any time of day, period.

There is no such thing as too much bacon.

• Mexican heritage, traditions and families have the most incredible dynamics. We should take a lesson.

• America worries about the safety and emotional well-being of its youths so much nowadays, that we will never let them grow up.
• I am going to pull a woman's hair while doing her doggy-style. I am not sorry about this.

• I love my Dad. He is one of the most amazing people I have ever known, yet I'm scared as fuck that I will end up just like him.

He is a handsome guy, it might not be so bad.

• I have always been able to rely on my fists when words could not come to my rescue.

There's a southpaw in the house, keep your guard up.

• A broken heart mends faster than shattered pride.

• Being scandalous is not for me. In fact, it makes me feel sick to my stomach. 

• When dogs squat to poop, they remind me of a kangaroo.

Striking resemblance!

• Bruce Lee made more of an impact on this world in his short 32 years than most men could make in a thousand lifetimes.

There is so much more! He was truly remarkable.

• Listen to R. Kelly, feel sexy and don't be afraid to get a little freaky from time to time.

"I don't see nothin' wroooong, with a little bit of bump 'n' griiiiiind.."

• I hate how much "work out clothes" cost. I mean...what the fuck? They're no different than pajamas, don't pay for that shit. It's not a fashion contest. (This has to be Jillian's doing...damn it.)

• Some people make excuses and point fingers. Others seek therapy. I smoke weed, take long walks and go fishing.

If you don't like this one, you can kiss my bass!

• Religious recruitment is a no no. Seriously. 

• Shaquille O'Neal is a tremendous role model. Just look at his life since he's been in the spotlight. Rick Reilly wrote about it in the year 2000 and his words still ring true.

(Click here to read "The Appeal of O'Neal" by Rick Reilly)

• The best hangover cure: Grab a shovel and keep digging a hole 'til the hangover is gone. Then, go eat a bacon cheeseburger. (You're welcome for this one.)

• Being drunk is no excuse for: having a shitty attitude, leading someone on, being brutally honest, cheating on a lover, picking a fight or sharing careless words. When the booze wears off, be responsible for your actions.

• Funerals make me cry. Not only from feeling a loss personally, but especially when I watch the people closest to the Departed.

I love your strength and never ending support, James. You're my brother...always.

• One of the most amazing transformations I have ever witnessed is a man becoming a father. Something I have yet to personally experience. Truly powerful.

Super Dad Status.

• Ignoring a woman pushes her right off the edge of sanity. 

• Mayonnaise. That's right.

• I have earned a fortune in friendships just by being myself. However, sometimes I am careless with this wealth. My best intentions aren't always good enough and that leaves me uneasy at times.

Nothing, but trouble.

• Everything worth while has a cost. Financial, physical and/or emotional. Never fear the expense.

• It makes my day to compliment a stranger. Hopefully it makes their day too.

• Football is a sport that I love and the media is fucking that up for me.

• True happiness can only be found within ourselves. It is not achieved by running errands and crossing things off of a checklist. Though doing so is satisfying, it really is moot in the grand scheme of life. 

• Did I mention mayonnaise? Let me be more specific, Hellman's Mayonnaise.

Brings out the best!

• Creative Expression. Aside from a random act of kindness, is the most admirable thing a human can do. Not only for themselves, but for those lucky enough to experience it.

It can happen anywhere, at any moment.

• In high school, I briefly dated a young woman my senior year. She still (to this day) makes me laugh, think and feel like only a handful of people in my life can do. I am grateful for her friendship. No matter the distance I will always have her back, regardless of the circumstances.

I promise she's classier than this when I'm not around her, but not by much...

• Heart and Soul will always have an upper hand to the Brain. To feel something is much greater than understanding it. An I.Q. is really just a number.

• I write "Believe in Yourself" on post-it notes and stick them in places where I can't miss them.

Perfect reminder.

• I have been provoked to the point where I have said a lot of nasty things to someone important in my life. Someone I loved very much. The next day, I felt awful. Alcohol poisoning would have been a walk in the park compared to this emotional hangover. Know yourself and don't let anyone else's actions make you forget who you are as a person.

This is EXACTLY what that feels like.

• I love the word "fuck" in all of its possible variations.

• The best time to awaken is just before dawn. I step outside to be in the moment when the sun is rising and the moon is setting. it is beyond euphoric. There is this genuine sense of hope and clarity. It feels like all of the world's problems could be solved in that very moment.

Good morning.

• I like hash browns, hashish, hashing out details and corned beef hash. I hate hash-tag, it's called a fucking "number sign". Thanks for ruining it Twitter...jerks. (I know it's here to stay. I am just having a rough time embracing this one.)

• A woman's imperfections are quite the contrary. I love when a woman is unique and different, it's sexy as hell.
• At the same time I'll admit, I have a weakness for cinnamon skin, dark espresso hair and dangerous curves. Honestly, who doesn't?

Can I have a sip of that?

• I love the ditch diggers, baggage handlers and burger flippers of the world. You're my kind of people.

• There is nothing more rewarding for me than writing. I've been doing it for myself since I was a kid. Only recently, I have found myself sharing it with the world. My focus is not only to stay inspired and be entertaining, but to be inspirational. Dreams do come true. Tell me about yours and hold nothing back. I will encourage you, look for answers with you and be by your side to overcome any fears or doubts about pursuing them. I am willing to be a stepping stone on your path to reaching your own dreams. (Even though I still believe you can do it on your own.) 

My life is a work in progress. These statements are merely a reflection of my current inner-self. At any given time they are subject to change. Moses certainly did not come down from Mt. Sinai with these carved in stone (However, I have seen a burning bush once. Please remember to always put out your cigarettes.). On the surface, there is no rhyme or reason to all of these. I haven't traveled the world over, but I have visited the hearts of many individuals (my own included.). It's there that I've witnessed indescribable beauty, darkness and misdirection, a higher purpose, sincerity, compassion, addiction, empathy, hate, sadness, the battle of good and evil, will power, fight or flight, comfort, fear, gains, losses, selfishness, selflessness, content, happiness, the "light" and most importantly, love (and that's my short list.). All aspects of human capabilities and emotions derive from the heart. It is our life force. When it stops beating, the rest of our body shuts down and life as we know it expires. This is not morbid, it's simply the truth. Live life to the fullest!


OCEANS by John Butler kept me inspired while writing this post. I was absolutely speechless the first time I watched this video. It's an acoustical journey like no other. His ragged jeans, his old beat up guitar and his amazing talent are perfect. I found myself smiling while I watched and listened. Please, enjoy!

OCEANS - John Butler - 2012 Studio Version

Scotty J ~ "My elders said shine your light on the world. Shine your light for the world to see." - Mos Def