Saving Scotty Jacobs - Magically Delicious

It has been quite a while since writing one of these posts. Hot sunny days and a beautiful woman have been getting my full attention... and I'm not even close to sorry about it!! My goal for the immediate future is finding balance among the things that truly make me happy. Recently, I came across a book I used to keep on my nightstand in high school. I smiled when I held it in my hands and fanned through the pages. I stopped on this chapter here and thought I should share it with everyone:

I have no magic power; I make Personality my Magic Power.

The Samurai is acutely conscious of human dynamics. He knows that events turn on the personalities of those involved in any situation - and that each personality brings new chemistry to the mix.
All of us come to the table with individual agendas. It can take a long time of sifting through the social masks that people present to get a true picture of their intentions. We are all masters of hiding who we are in order to leverage a position in life. We are all actors, behaving as we imagine others expect to secure our place in the order of things. Personality as we know of it is a grab bag of facial expressions, stitched up with predictable words we think everyone wants to hear. Most of us are trained to build a personality that will somehow get us what we want, however great or humble our desires.
Part of this "training" is the honing of a personality that we present to the world, so that others might see us as unique or , at the very least, un-threatening. Relationships are often built upon the illusion of personalities that are mere shadows of who we really are. People rarely know one another at a level deeper than their shadow selves. This is why so many relationships dissolve over sudden, insignificant events. There can be no substance of truth between masks or shadows.
So what is this "magnetic power" of Personality? And how does the Samurai employ it to achieve his aim? Is it the same old game, played the way we are taught to play?
It is simple: The Samurai does not script his actions according to his own, or others', conventional expectations. He releases his natural eloquence in the plainest of terms. His eyes speak for his mouth, his mouth speaks for his heart. His mind is present, attentive, in tune with his ethical integrity. He does not manipulate with words. Whatever he needs to say flows from unaffected sincerity and simple self-knowledge. This is genuine Personality, unblemished by greed, fear, or opportunism.
A Samurai's Magic Power is the unforced charisma of a person without guile. This kind of person honors daily life by serving as an integral part of it. His presence alone exposes fakery and posturing, which are more likely sorcery than magic. He knows that magic flows naturally through anyone who does not build their own impediments to the truth.

(*This is an excerpt from One Flash of Lightning, A Samurai Path for Living in the Moment by Stephanie JT Russell.)

Personality is the combination of characteristics or qualities that form an individual's distinctive character. Some of our traits we inherit, others we develop from our life's experiences. Personality is the dish we bring to the potluck of life - some people will get down on it, while others may choose to pass on it altogether. We are all an acquired taste and our deliciousness is as unique as our individuality.
The most important statement from the above excerpt is the last sentence - "He knows that magic flows naturally through anyone who does not build their own impediments to the truth.". Saving Scotty Jacobs posts started over six months ago and they are my testimony to a happier healthier existence. I asked all of you to hold me accountable to help keep me honest with myself. Needless to say, it has been an incredible journey thus far.
Matt Powell's Hardstyle Kettlbell training over the winter awakened my potential. Aside from physically getting stronger, I found true inner-strength using his simple yet sinister techniques. His philosophies - "no wasted repetition" and "try anything once" - empowered my confidence. I have never felt more alive and been more in love with this adventure called - life. Lately my physical training has taken a backseat, but the physical demands of farming still have me growing stronger. The same fundamentals Powell taught me with the kettlebell apply perfectly to working the fields.

I measure success with a happy heart and I have to say... life is pretty fucking awesome. I've learned that I only seem to find boundaries when I'm suffering from a lack of passion. In the past I've spent too much time doing what I thought was right, instead of listening to my heart. When I finally ran out of excuses, I looked around and the only thing I had left was my personality. Well, guess what?? That's when the magic revealed itself and I finally set myself free from the rest of the world's expectations.

My sense of humor, sense of adventure and sense of self have become my foundation for a rewarding life. In fact, maybe they always were anyway and it took me a long while to finally realize it. Regardless, writing about my journey has brought a lot of incredible people into my life. I have friends around the world checking in and showing their support. Others have confessed they want to make a change for themselves and embrace the depths of their own capabilities. Occasionally there's even a naysayer or two projecting negativity, unaware of their own incredible potential. Nonetheless, they're all a part of my inspiration and that's a huge part of the magic in my personality. I always appreciate the energy it takes to truly share a part of yourself.

Honestly I'm no Samurai. I'm just a goofy lovable guy raised by amazingly patient parents, both with a "magic" of their own. Take all of those things that come with being their son, all of my experiences that I've learned from along the way and here I am. Most of my days are spent coaxing a smile from friends and strangers alike because I love to laugh with people. Living perfectly, to me, is knowing what you're living for... and for me it's love and the great adventure. Thank you everyone for the love, support, encouragement and general badass-ness you've shared with me since starting all of this. This goes without saying, but you're all a huge part of what defines me today.

If life were actually a potluck and we were all just food on the table, I wonder what we would all be? I think I could be a corned beef or maybe a platter of sliders. Ohhh I know... I could be Honey-Nut Cheerios and milk, so you'd get to eat me up and drink me down!! You know you love the Honey-Nut!! Really though, I'm probably the hot artichoke dip you shouldn't eat too much of, but you put on everything anyway. Mmmm. From canned tuna to caramel cashew ice-cream, it really doesn't matter, we're all magically delicious... we just have to show up to the party!!!

Scotty J ~ A special thanks to my friend Adam Marks for always posting inspirational memes to keep the world inspired. You've got the magic, my friend. ABRA-CADABRA!!!


       

Donate Your Love For Life - A Message From Matt Ramah

   There is nothing more breath-taking, in the human culture, than selflessness. A random act of kindness has the power to change not just a person's day, but their entire world. The intent is to reward someone who is unsuspecting, however the power of the action goes well beyond that. In most cases, the unsuspecting person goes on to pay it forward. It's rare when we get to witness something this incredible, but every single one of us is capable of creating the moment. This takes me back a few weeks ago, when a very dear friend called me with an update on life.

Seriously take the time to do this!

   My friendship with Matt Ramah goes all the way back to 1994; and has only grown stronger since the days of our youth. We've been there for each other, with a shameless confidence, in some of the best and worst moments that we've ever experienced. Therefore, I was not the slightest bit shocked when he told me he was in the process of becoming a kidney donor. He simply explained to me, that a friend (who is like family to him) had a close family member with fading health. He didn't have to go on... my heart was beating with his. He spoke from an amazingly humble perspective and I realized, at that very moment, he had grown into the man that many of us hope to become one day.
   In his everyday life, Matt Ramah is a medical adjuster living in Columbus, OH with his family. His beautiful wife, Alicia, is one of the most compassionate people I have ever met; and his six month old son, Elijah, has been practicing his soccer skills since he was in the womb. Raylan, their pit-bull mix, keeps the whole family laughing with her loving antics (and, of course, secretly runs the household.). I'm trying to get them to adopt me, but no luck yet... Thanks Raylan! Basically though, the Ramah family is badass.

Look at the center of attention there....

   Ramah and I wrote this piece together. Our goal is to put any worried or discouraged loved ones' hearts and minds at ease; and inspire others to explore themselves and give what they can truly live without. I asked him what attracted him to helping people and how he determined selflessness; his response was this:
   "I have had many selfish moments in life. More than I would like to count, but it's the selfless moments I find easier to recollect. It's the look on someone's face - when you take the time out of your day to be there for them because they are clearly in a place more difficult than you. Whether that's jump-starting a car, responding to an accident scene or volunteering at an animal or homeless shelter. It's a feeling that stays with you and helps you see the greater purpose in life. I don't see a determining factor in someone's selflessness. I think it's something that only the person doing the act can fully understand. We can't stop at every flat tire (metaphorically speaking) along the way, it just doesn't work like that. You will know when you passed up the golden opportunity to positively affect someone else's day. The key is to use that moment to recognize you had the opportunity; and commit to not passing it up the next time an opportunity arises."
   It just goes to show you how honest you have to be with yourself about your own character, in order to take selfless action. Do you stop and pull a large fallen tree limb to the side of the road, so that traffic doesn't have to swerve around it? Do you call the phone number on a stray dog's collar?? Do you give up your spot in line at the grocery store to someone behind you with less groceries??? These little gestures save lives, make families whole again and help people move on with their day in a positive fashion.
   "I am donating my kidney to one of my best friend's sister-in-law. Alicia and I are pretty close with most of their family. To be honest, I do not know the sister-in-law much at all, but it was the closeness with the entire family, including her husband, that led me to make this decision. 
   When I originally determined looking into being tested for a match, it was a very rash decision. Alicia noticed me taking a screenshot of the Facebook post (by the family in need) requesting anyone willing to check into this more. She made a comment about "seeing what I just did" and this kicked off the whole process. We have had excellent communication with each other along the way; educating ourselves to the max to ensure this decision we were making was going to be the right one. The decision to move forward with donating an organ was something that had to be made knowing that my family would not be affected in a negative way (This in no way was something that only I would decide.)."
   When he found he was actually a match for donation, a whole new set of challenges was in front of him. His honesty about what he was feeling gave me a warm and fuzzy sensation. Like we had just scored a touchdown to tie the game and there was still a lot of hard work to accomplish for the victory.
   "Finding out I was officially "the match" was a really shocking thing to hear. I think most people go into this situation expecting to hear - Thank you so much for the selfless consideration, but... - and I'll be honest, I really expected to hear the same thing. That doesn't detract from anyone that puts themselves in a position to be a potential donor, but man, the weight of it all doesn't really start to settle into place. That's until you get more finite information that you actually have a decision to make, in regards to moving forward with the donation or not. Alicia and I took every step of the process as a way for us to sit back, review where we were as a family and where this would take us. There never was a phone call that came in where I just said "yes" or "no" to something. It always revolved around them giving us time to make a rational decision. So when we found it was as official as it is going to be, we took the time to weigh out positives and negatives. And EVERY single time, the positives outweighed the negatives in a HUGE way."
   His attitude has always been humble about the kidney donation. He has been calculated in conversing with others about what he's doing because he didn't want things to "get crazy" early in the process. We all want to be supportive, but some of us might project our own worry that could negatively influence him. He let some of us who are closest to him know what was going on, so we could wrap our heads around it. He also needed us to be a voice for him through the process. Ramah wants to maintain his positive outlook through this journey and knows he can't connect with every single loved one, individually, prior to surgery. He had this message to share with everyone:
   "It is going to come out to everyone what I am doing and I am okay with that. I want people to know what I am doing, so they can look differently at situations in the future. I am in no way advocating that everyone should be willing to donate an organ. What I AM saying is to find the situations that are presented to you where you can make a difference in other people's lives. Don't immediately find a reason not to help. Sit back and think of your options. If your positives for helping someone else outweigh the negatives, why not give it a go? You will feel better about yourself and, believe me, the person that you help will be more grateful than you realize prior to helping them. I am not better than anyone for what I am doing, but I am an advocate to the idea of the positive impact a selfless decision can have on the world. A world that's dominated by negative headlines and the selfish acts of the celebrities that are idolized by the public eye."
   The opportunity to change somebody's world for the better came knocking on the Ramah's door. They graciously answered with their hearts full of love, which honestly guided their way through this decision. It's that love forged in their young growing family that builds confidence and easily manages their fears. Though it seems effortless from an outside perspective, I know they work hard to live genuinely happy.
   Prior to surgery, Ramah plans on doing things that will be off-limits during his six week recovery period. Most importantly, holding his son Elijah. He also plans to go out with some friends to wish his kidney "bon voyage" and feed it a few drinks. As he so enthusiastically shared, "because that guy is going on a journey!", and I certainly don't blame him!

CHEERS to you Brother!! "CONNIE.. GET ME ANOTHER GRAPE!"

   "After surgery it's quite simple, as well. My goal is to get through the next six weeks as quickly and safely as possible. This, so that on the last day of restriction I can pick up my son, load him in the car and drive him to the driving range - where I am going to swing a golf club for the first time since surgery (that the public will know about because a certain someone will get pretty upset if I push it!). Eventually, getting back into my workout regimen to continue training for my second "Tough Mudder" in September. Which I plan on completing faster than the previous year. In the long term, I should not see any effects of having one kidney, but I don't see that as entirely accurate. I believe this procedure will help me become healthier as a person because I will want to treat my remaining kidney with great care.
   In a different long term mindset, I want to use this experience to help guide people in directions that will help them and others. I want to be able to tell the story to Elijah; helping him grow as a man. A man that thinks of others and takes the opportunities (when presented to him) to help others out when they are in a tough situation themselves."
   Ramah's words speak for themselves, but his actions echo in all of us. There is no doubt that he has been faced with some of the most challenging decisions of his life. However, when the positives outweigh the negatives, there is no more room for excuses. He is proud of his family, he's dedicated to loving them unconditionally and he willingly accepts life with all of its challenges. He believes in living to our fullest potential and does this by example on a daily basis. Though I know he appreciates all of the thoughts and prayers for him; he definitely believes that kind of energy is better spent selflessly helping someone in need. Please be inspired.
   He would be quick to tell you that the recipient of his kidney is the real hero in this situation. For she is faced with ultimate vulnerability and was left to ask for help in the most difficult way possible. Her will to live inspires him and he knew that he would fight just the same as her, if in her situation. He also believes someone would help his family just the same. These are the types of friendships he instills. After next week they will be forever connected in life; not only by a kidney, but by a grateful appreciation for a selfless action. Both of them rewarded in the most amazing way possible.
   We plan to update you in the future and hope you're all making a positive difference, no matter how big or small. Ramah left me to wrap this up anyway I saw fit, so with that I leave everyone with a video from Talib Kweli....

Scotty J ~ "Life is a beautiful struggle."

 

A View from a Half-Jew's Shoes

   This morning I read, 30 Of The Most Powerful Images Ever (linked at the bottom of the page). The photos captured the best and worst of the human-condition; all from different places and times. As difficult as it was, I pictured myself in each individual image. Though all of them were extremely powerful, a couple in particular drummed up some incredible personal emotions and insight. The capacity of vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts and experiences of another person is called empathy. The phrase, "..putting yourself in someone else's shoes..", is a figurative expression perfectly explaining it. That being said, I don't want you to understand my post today... I want you to FEEL it.

   I am half-Jewish and damn proud of it. There has always been an ongoing debate about the differences of Jewish ethnicity and religion. This is arguable on so many levels, it's not even funny. Well maybe a little bit because most of the Jews I know, have a great sense of humor. Regardless, it's my heritage and I love it. I have in the past and will always stick up for the Jewish people in this world. Now let me show you one of the pictures that moved me, from the article I mentioned.

This is the inside of a gas chamber at Auschwitz (Nazi Concentration and Extermination Camp) - Poland

   I saw this picture and my heart stopped, my eyes welled up with tears and an anger started to burn deep in the pit of my stomach. Some of my Jewish ancestors immigrated from Poland at the beginning of the twentieth-century. Though it's inconclusive, I imagine some of them stayed right there. If you can't tell what those lines are on the wall; they're fingernail scratches. They signify the final desperate actions of people fighting for just one more breath. As I stared at this photo, I started to think that some of those death marks on the wall could easily be from my own relatives' hands. Then I imagined myself clawing at the concrete, wearing my bloody fingertips down to the bone and praying for a miracle... suddenly I flashed back to sitting here in front of my computer, overwhelmed with helplessness.

BEAR JEW (photo not from mentioned article)

   If I were presented with the opportunity to fight in that war; I would have done indescribably horrific things to the opposition. Let me put it like this, anyone that has watched the movie Inglorious Basterds remembers the "Bear Jew", right? What you saw him do in that movie, would've been just the tip of the iceberg for me. I would have been legendarily more cruel than Hitler himself. It's strange that we justify punishing cruelty with more cruelty; and of course we base that on the phrase, "Well HE started it!". This is one of those things where my empathy is getting the best of me and I am beyond grateful that none of this was my calling in life.

   Sorry about that everyone. That was rather revealing, but as you all can tell it's a sensitive subject for me. In my past, I have literally been in fist-fights over my heritage. I don't go in search of these situations, but on a few rare occasions it has come to that. Most people are just being ignorant when they say something offensive; a few gentle words about their offensiveness and that brings them back to an embarrassing reality. However, some people take embarrassment as the ultimate insult and others are literally just full of hate. It's schmucks like this that are hard to walk away from because they will usually try to punch you in the back of the head. This is where the term "Jew 'em down" isn't about money to me, but about a Jew knocking you down on the ground. Plain and simple, it's just ridiculous.

These are the graves of a Catholic woman and her Protestant husband in Holland circa 1888

   The picture above, to me, represents a very true form of love. They did not live by the status quo and they even found a way to stay with one another for eternity. When I saw this in the article, it immediately made me think of my failed relationships of the past. Those iconic hands holding one another made mine feel rather empty. Twice in my life, I have had a girlfriend's parent share with them their discomfort about me being Jewish. Which in turn creates a whole new set of challenges that I have never been able to overcome. The first time it happened, I chalked it up to being young. When it happened in my last relationship, I did my best to navigate through it. We never fully came back from that. My girlfriend even had the nerve to say, "I want my parents to like you.", but what was that supposed to take, going back in a time machine to prevent my Jewishness? You would think the people of the 21st century could let those things go, but I digress. In all reality, these women lacked compassion and empathy almost altogether. My own parents are very much a future version of this couple in the picture and I'm certainly never going to trade in who I am for anything.    

   According to the research at Hebrew University, there is approximately 14 million Jews on the planet. Which amounts to about 0.2% of mankind! The fact that my Gentile mother fell in love, married and had two sons with my Jewish father is absolutely incredible to me. This, even after both of them suffered the pain and anguish of divorce from previous marriages. Talk about overcoming some serious adversity in this world; they are an amazingly beautiful couple. They are the first to tell you that relationships can't always be 50/50; life happens and that can bring you down sometimes. They willingly communicate and prove their love by inspiring, motivating and supporting each other in their own personal quests. Also, they always make time for an adventure together. Just the two of them. I don't use the word cute a lot, but they really are the cutest. They may never read this, but I love the example they set for the world.

This where all of my good looks come from, right here!

   Now I only used 2 out of 30 pictures from that article because they hit closest to home for me. They reminded me of who I am, where I come from and the infinite possibilities of my future. There are some photos in that article so incredible, you will literally lose your breath. They will conjure some of the most intense thoughts and emotions of your human spirit. They portray fatherhood, famine, appreciation, genocide, love, devastation, relief, commitment, compassion, happiness and tragedy (among other things.). This article was not for the faint-hearted. Personally, for me, it made my heart grow bigger. Anyone out there who does read that article and cannot put themselves in these peoples' shoes; this is what I have to say to you... 

   Those who typically lack empathy suffer from the woes of jealousy and envy. You spend your lives turning supposed loved ones into puppets for your own benefit. You are master manipulators, selfish with your emotions and have no regard for the people who move mountains for you. It's people like you that contribute to our decay. It's people like you that are responsible for a lot of the darkness we see in this world. It's people like you that force tragedies on others. It's people like you that make me glad to be me.

I'm just trying to speak up for my fellow half-Jews out there!

   Being half-Jewish may have hindered me with others at times, but has genuinely taught me about appreciating love in itself. I certainly would not be here without it. Thanks Mom and Dad! The closet anti-Semites of the world used to hurt my feelings, but now are completely laughable. They can't be themselves because they can't stand themselves, it's hilarious. No matter what anyone wants to argue with me, I hold my heritage close to my heart. The Jewish people have thrived among adversity and fought against oppression for thousands of years. We have done great things for humanity and we love to coexist in this world. Back one of us into a corner though, you better be prepared to get all 14 million of us up your ass. SHALOM!

Scotty J ~ "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."

Click here to read "30 Of The Most Powerful Images Ever"

Snack Time at Grandmother's, OY VAY!

   There is no better place in the world than a Jewish grandmother's kitchen. Always full of laughter, it is a non-stop feast of fun for the masses (even if the "masses" are only me.). My grandmother's kitchen has always been a safe-haven, sheltering family and friends from the perils of the outside world. The moment my tush hits the seat at her kitchen table, my four-foot-six-inch grandmother grabs my wrist and says, "Let me fix ya a little 'nosh'.", in the sweetest Brooklyn accent. Nosh is supposed to be a snack, apparently she did not get the memo. This is where the regretful gluttony begins.
   It all starts with a beverage, or really the whole gamut of available beverages. First there is delicious coffee, brewed stronger than an ox. Evaporated milk mixed with heavy cream finds its way to the table to mellow the extra buff coffee. The world's smallest glass of orange juice; as well as two percent milk meet to approval for drinks. There is also always an ice cold can of K-Mart brand cherry soda. She must have an endless stock hidden away somewhere; the cans have looked the same for twenty years. Water, however, gets omitted from this buffet of drinkable liquids and I never ask why either. This really sets the tone for my pending snack.
   No matter how forthright I try to be about my lack of hunger, there's no stopping her from force-feeding me. Her galley kitchen only comfortably fits an eight-year-old child, yet we just pack in there like sardines. One could only imagine the immediate discomfort I feel, being over six feet tall and weighing nearly three hundred pounds. I did mention sardines, didn't I? Which is, ironically, one of the countless snacks I wearily jam into my gullet in her presence. That, as well as anchovies.
   We always start with my favorite food, toasted sesame bagels and Nova Scotia lox. I wish it could stop after this; my words at this point mean nothing to her. While I munch, she strategically empties the contents of her refrigerator onto the table. There are thin sliced deli meats, leftover steak and peppers, Challa bread, the world's best tuna salad, fire roasted red peppers, sweet gherkin pickles, savory black olives, and some strange gelatinous pineapple dish that only women over eighty-years-old still make. It is the most ridiculous amount of 'nosh' anyone could imagine!

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

   Just when I think there could not be any food left for her to serve me, I get blindsided with even more guilty pleasures. The heat radiates from the stove in the minuscule kitchen, forcing instant perspiration. I ask myself what could possibly be next in this culinary assault? As she scrambles a bowl full of raw eggs, she informs me that I will be eating matzo brei. This is a traditional Jewish dish that I only get to eat at her home. Matzo crackers are saturated in egg and cooked to golden perfection. It is a delicious part of my heritage that I would never deny. My stomach grumbles in fear.
   I refuse to finish everything she set out on the table, but I make sure to try all of it. Since the matzo brei is made special for me, I have to stomach all of it. I try to pace myself, yet it never seems to stop me from feeling over stuffed. Snack time should not have me bursting at the seams! My regular escape plan is to always head to the bathroom. I make sure to adamantly tell her that I am finished eating for good. She always triple checks with me before I can leave the table.
   Once in the bathroom I shamefully stare at myself in the mirror and think - why did I just do that? The answer is simple. There is not one bone in my body that could ever deny this delightful family matriarch, eloquently known as Grandmother. With that I wipe the sweat off of my brow, take a deep breath and exit the bathroom. This is only to find a bowl of melon awaiting my company at the kitchen table...

I guess it will never end.

Don't mess with me, she will kick your ass!

Scotty J ~ "Common courtesy and logic each have their place...but know your role in Grandma's Kitchen!"

Doggy-style

   For the last couple of months I've had the joy of bunking with Bailey. She's my yellow Labrador. I got her for the holidays during my junior year of high school. She's just shy of 14 years old now. That's damn near ancient in dog years. Her sight isn't what it used to be and her breathing is rough. Yet, she still wakes up every morning happily wagging her tail with a smile on her face.

   She's always been with my folks for all of these years. Her days have been spent eating fancy cheeses and dry aged meats with Mom and Dad. Living the high life, traveling back and forth between their townhouse and the cottage. It's safe to say, she could make a spoiled dog jealous.
   A dog's companionship is insurmountable, even to the heartbreak we face at the end of their short life. They say a dog is the only animal that loves you more than it loves itself. In my experience, this couldn't be more true. Dogs want to please and be shown affection. They want to be a part of your "everyday" and are always sad to see you leave the house (I always tell Bailey, "Don't worry, I'll be back in just a little bit," and then she'll lay her head down. Showing her disapproval of my departure without her company.). I'm sure you know what I mean.
   A dog's sense of adventure is what I think is its most admirable quality. Every moment of everyday is an adventure, no matter how strict of a routine. Just the daily rounds of incessantly sniffing the yard and marking their territory never loses its excitement. They make us proud for being so dedicated to our homes. Some dogs are so adventurous they even eat their own poop. It's completely gross and they're aware of how taboo it is for us humans to witness (Bailey does this too. She always trots away with her tail between her legs, but licks her chops so proudly at the same time. BAD BAILEY!!). Really though, think about it. A dog's life is so awesome, she will happily and willingly eat her own poop when she has plenty of other options on which to snack.
   I hate admitting this, but Bailey's days are numbered. She can hardly breathe when she's overly excited and her stiff hips make it difficult to stay mobile for too long. The cottage is the perfect place for her to live out her days. These last couple of months, for me, would have been much more difficult if my parents had not left her to keep an eye on me. Her and I have gone fishing, moonlit booze cruising, watered the flowers and occasionally shuffled over to the neighbors just to say "hey". We both wake ourselves up when we snore and we love eating a midnight snack. This morning we split a New York strip at breakfast (I know what you're thinking... "Spoiled Bitch".). I'm going to miss my buddy when she's gone and I'm grateful for all of the time we've spent together this summer.
   Dog is man's best friend. Bailey is most definitely mine. Earlier, I wrote about a dog's sense of adventure being its most admirable quality. Well, now that I think about it; their ability to make humans happy is most admirable. All of our secrets are safe with our dog, food dropped never goes to waste, and we dream freely knowing our dog is here to protect us from "the things that go 'bump' in the night".
   Bailey and I would love it, if you would do us a favor when you get home to your pooch today. Throw a couple chunks of cheese in their supper from us and thank them for always being there through the good and the bad. If there's one animal that deserves to live forever, it's our pups. Bow-wow-wow-yippee-yo-yippee-yay!

Scotty J. & Bailey ~ We'd both do just about anything for some damn good cheese.

If Cancer Were a Man, I'd Kick His Ass

   In January I walked away from a promising job opportunity for something much more important, family. My cousin had fallen ill and needed some help running his business....immediately. Thus making my departure unique, yet unprofessional.
   I went to work the morning after my cousin called and asked for my help. I started the day like any other, unlocked the doors, shoveled the sidewalk, mopped the showroom, and coordinated deliveries and pick-ups with my co-workers. I shot a message to the owner regarding an important conversation we needed to have with one another. He showed up late morning after a meeting, and I dropped the bomb.
   I explained to him that my cousin had cancer and was in the fight for his life. I also explained that my cousin's wife was pregnant with their first child and his soon to be growing family needed my help. I thanked the owner for the job opportunity and apologized for my abrupt departure. After an awkward handshake and a couple of careless words of frustration from him, I was out the door. I started working for my cousin 30 hours later in the Grand Rapids area.
   Fortunately for all of us, my girlfriend was already commuting to Grand Rapids for med school. After only working for a week, we signed a lease and moved our family. This was to make life presumably easier on us all, but there was one thing for which I was not prepared to handle...chemotherapy.
   The overwhelming feeling of helplessness I had when I first saw him after a treatment cannot be explained. I could easily adjust to the new hours, learning how to deliver bread around greater Grand Rapids in an unreliable truck, shitty weather, having a new home in a new place, and lending my cousin and his family a helping hand. However, witnessing my cousin go through chemo was a challenge I hadn't anticipated. He is only a month older than me, intelligent and most of all, hardworking. He doesn't condone violence, loves sports, music and relaxing at his cottage. He lives a good and honest life. Making me ask myself, "Why him?". There's no real answer to this question, it's just a part of being human. Some of us are more at risk than others. One thing is for sure, life is too short to waste time looking for that stupid fucking answer. The cancer was here, chemo was the route..end of story, time to be positive.
   During the treatments it would sound like they were just sucking the life right out of him. His voice soft and weak without an ounce of enthusiasm. Most of his down time between treatments was spent in bed. The shades drawn, TV volume nearly inaudible, and what little conversations he had were prolonged by rounds of vomiting. The kind of ralphing that makes your whole body lurch, straining every human muscle to just work up a little bit of spittle. It seemed like the world's worst dry-heaves. He said going through chemo makes you feel like a zombie. I would pay him a visit and think to myself... "This is what getting better looks like? Damn it cancer! You're a real motherfucker!". Seriously, if cancer were a person; I would give him a wedgie, put gum in his hair, kick him in the balls, and throw him down the stairs....then I would proceed to kick his ass. Nonetheless, I never shared my fear for my cousin's fight with him. Instead, I tried to do what I think it is that I do best, make him laugh.
   Even through all of those weak moments he still found his smile. He still found a way to follow up my cheer with intelligent comebacks and quips. He would even make ME laugh. We found our way laughing through the treatments, laughing through his recovery and laughing last weekend at the lake. In April, on his birthday he got the 2nd best gift ever, his cancer was in remission. Just a week and a half ago he got the best gift he could ever have, a beautiful baby girl. Words can't even begin to describe my excitement for him and his new adventures. Just this week he finally got back to work on his own, giving me more time and energy to spend on a few neglected things.
   All of the time spent these last few months on being there for him and his family has put other occurrences in my life on hold. I missed a handful of loved ones' birthdays, a chance to sign-up for men's league softball, mending an old friendship that's long overdue, and writing for this blog. Sorry everyone, I had some shit to do!
   One week from today, I will be turning 30. Wholeheartedly after all of this, I'm looking forward to it. People say it's all down hill after 30 (or insert any age.). Well... fuck them. I don't have time for that negative shit. If it is downhill, then I'll make sure to pack my "saucer" for my 30th birthday party. It's going to be the downhill ride of my life! Seriously folks, stop tricking the youth with these cryptic statements. We're better than that. Living is fucking cool no matter the age. How we choose to perceive life is up to each and every one of us. Find your smile!

Peace and Love,
Scotty J. ~ Travel with a knife and a smile.
 
 
 

It Begins Here. Loss and the Love We Find

     My plan was to start this by daring you to express yourself. Look deep within yourself and hold nothing back. After writing these last 2 sentences, I realized that's really more of a reminder than a dare. The point of Brass-Knuckle Love Butter is for ME to express MYSELF.....soooooo what the fuck?? Here it goes.

      It's bizarre how "life events" effect us from our thoughts all the way to our relationships. A friend of mine lost his mother last week. Every time we spoke during her short struggle, we agreed that there were very little words for the situation. We both understood that this was the most difficult moment in his life and we both felt helpless. However, as I've been reflecting on this unfortunate event...the silver lining has begun to reveal itself.
      The truth is, there are a lot of words for this situation. I mean, we all agree this whole deal absolutely sucks. That's a given. What I'm referring to though is the actions we all take when things like this happen. When we first spoke about her condition, my heart grew stronger. The petty things in my personal life were instantly washed away. As news traveled, old friendships were rekindled. We all spoke to each other from the heart. We shared the same concern for our friend and ourselves. We didn't know how it felt to be our friend, but we knew he'd be there for any of us.
       Two of us made it to the hospital the night before she passed. Honestly, we had gone to meet our friend in the cafeteria to provide him with some relief and show our support. He had us come up to her room for a few minutes while we waited for a couple of other guys to make it to the hospital.
       As we quietly sat together in her room, we reflected on the great memories from the past. She laid there in our company unable to communicate with us, but fully capable of hearing every word we shared with one another. I like to think it brought her comfort to know that her son's friends had all come together for him. We could never replace the unconditional love she had provided through all of his years, but we did have something nearly as special. True friendship. The blood running through our veins is not the same, but we ARE family to each other. You know what I'm talking about? If not, I hope you get to experience it in your future.
      Friendships are meant to be tested. I believe that friendships don't end, but sometimes lie dormant. A friendship can go into hibernation for various reasons. Usually the case for that is simple, our personal lives take us down different paths. These differences can make it tough to communicate and express ourselves to our friend. If we accept that as the situation, and don't get clouded with ill feelings due to the change, it will make reconnecting in the future a genuinely positive experience.
      My dear friend will physically never get to see his mother again. He won't be able to directly ask her for advice or eat her home-cookin'. She was a woman who shared an incredible amount of moral support in his life. Personally, I'd be scared shitless. I know that it may take time, but her spirit will begin to fill his actions. He will be there 10-fold for others as she was for him. He will be all of the great things she was with every breath he takes. He will begin to see it in himself and feel stronger than ever because of it.
      None of us are ever the same after losing a loved one. Things don't go back to "being normal". In life there are 2 things that remain consistent: change and death. Both of these occurrences are inevitable. We all don't accept them immediately, but eventually we must learn from them. If we don't, our perception of life will remain dismal. We have to take a few steps to the left sometimes and get a better view. Trust, no matter how long it's been since you've caught up with a friend, that your friendship is still very alive and valid. Keep your friends in your heart. When we're lost in life, we can find them there and continue to grow.

Scotty J. -peace, stay funky, believe in yourself, life's a journey, use your heart